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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 228460" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>One thing that helps me is to know that there will be a battle and be prepared to let EVERYTHING go to deal with it. As I see it, we have so many priorities in our lives it is hard to give the time needed to battle. And our kids KNOW when we are in a time crunch - that is when they are the worse making it easier to give in just to get on to the next item on the list.</p><p></p><p>Read <u>The Manipulative Child</u> if you have not done so yet. It has opened my eyes and given me the strength to deal with my manipulators - I so wish I had read it when easy child was Tink's age or younger.</p><p></p><p>As someone suggested, sit down with Tink tonight and lay out some New Year's Resolutions. You can present them as if they are to better your life (Things that you will do to help yourself, alone time, special time to pay bills, walking time, whatever) and then ask Tink what she would like to do to bring more peace into her own life. She will most likely pick most of your list to apply to herself. "Tink, maybe we both can have alone time at the same time and then take our walk together?" I know it sounds silly but if you can get her involved in setting that time, it may be easier to actually make it happen. </p><p></p><p>I also in the effort to encourage independence may have created a monster to some extent in my easy child.</p><p></p><p>P.S. Tink is one of the kids on here that I would love to give a hug to and spend time with. She does sound like a little sweetheart. She seems to have great qualities in her - just have to uncover them more often.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 228460, member: 5096"] One thing that helps me is to know that there will be a battle and be prepared to let EVERYTHING go to deal with it. As I see it, we have so many priorities in our lives it is hard to give the time needed to battle. And our kids KNOW when we are in a time crunch - that is when they are the worse making it easier to give in just to get on to the next item on the list. Read [U]The Manipulative Child[/U] if you have not done so yet. It has opened my eyes and given me the strength to deal with my manipulators - I so wish I had read it when easy child was Tink's age or younger. As someone suggested, sit down with Tink tonight and lay out some New Year's Resolutions. You can present them as if they are to better your life (Things that you will do to help yourself, alone time, special time to pay bills, walking time, whatever) and then ask Tink what she would like to do to bring more peace into her own life. She will most likely pick most of your list to apply to herself. "Tink, maybe we both can have alone time at the same time and then take our walk together?" I know it sounds silly but if you can get her involved in setting that time, it may be easier to actually make it happen. I also in the effort to encourage independence may have created a monster to some extent in my easy child. P.S. Tink is one of the kids on here that I would love to give a hug to and spend time with. She does sound like a little sweetheart. She seems to have great qualities in her - just have to uncover them more often. [/QUOTE]
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