too old for bed wetting?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by blazon1234, Apr 18, 2013.

  1. blazon1234

    blazon1234 New Member

    My four year old son has mild autism, he goes to the bathroom during the day (always tells me first) by himself. But at night he pees in his bed. I always made my kids go pee before they get in bed. I tired giving him treats in the morning when he doesn't wet himself. I ask him why he didn't get up but he just start to cry. How do I get him to stop?
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion you should leave him alone. I had a son who wasn't autistic who wet his bed until he was twelve and he was really embarassed. According to his pediatrician, some kids sleep very deeply and don't wake up when they have to go. And other kids have weak bladders. He won't be twenty and still wetting his bed. Although it is a pain in the neck, he obviously is ashamed when you ask him about it and I'm guessing he can't help it. Why not just put pull ups on him at night for now? There is no foolproof way to get him to wake up and go when he has to go. I doubt he is doing it to be mean to you or to make you clean harder. It is a common problem with boys, even if they have no diagnosis.

    Take care :) Welcome to the board!
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You cannot bribe a kid or punish a kid out of a "developmental" challenge - whether that is mental (such as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) or physical (bedwetting). It just plain doesn't work. "Growth" is the only thing that fixes it... in general.

    However... some things can make it worse than it needs to be.
    Have you tried adjusting diet? in particular, going dairy-free?
    For some people, the milk proteins in the system cause an extra heavy sleep... which means they can't wake up to go to the washroom.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    V has mild autism as well and at almost 6 still wets his bed... About a year ago I asked his Occupational Therapist (OT) on what to do about it, maybe wake him up around 11 (when I go to bed) so he can pee.
    Her reaction: " NO!!! his body is finally integrating his senses, doing so would disorganize everything". Sleeping through the night used to be a huge issue and she explained that it was simply more important than not wetting bed.
    I've decided to simply put pull ups on him every night. I don't like the extra expense... but bed wetting is just not a top priority issue at this point.
    Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kiddos often have sensory issues and it can make it harder for them to control their bladder at night.
    I believe he will get there eventually, when his body is ready.
    And keep in mind, like others said: alot of typical 4 year olds wet their bed. Invest in good pull ups and give yourself a break.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I agree with the others. He is so young. It is developmental. Just put some kind of protection on him or the bed and it will come. My son wore pull ups at night until he was eight or so. He is moderate on the spectrum and still did finally develop control. Hang in there.

    by the way, if he has a diagnosis of autism, your insurance may pay for pull ups after the age of four.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Great ideas here.
    My son still, maybe once every 6 mo's, bed-wets. It takes a LoooooNNNNnnnng time!
    Also, when we cut out milk and wheat, it cut down on his bedwetting by a huge percentage.
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Also many kids grow faster than their bladders do. And some kids just sleep through that, or are too scared to get up in the middle of the night. Does he have enough light in his room? All the way to the bathroom? In the bathroom itself? It's another possible issue to explore that he may not be able to express or too embarrassed to talk about.

    But at 4? Not a huge worry.
  8. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    My difficult child wet the bed until at least age 10. Don't fret.
  9. P-nut2004

    P-nut2004 New Member

    One of my difficult children is just now to the point of waking up at night (sometimes), at 9 yrs old, yes pull-ups get expensive & she's into the big kid ones now which cost twice as much but all of her doctors have told us not to worry & definitely not to punish or make a big deal out of it. She's now used to waking up in the morning and running thru a quick shower if she's wet. If her bed is wet (she has a plastic mattress cover which I highly suggest) she'll strip the sheets & blankets herself & take them to the laundry room. She is not Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) but has very similar symptoms as far as development goes. So don't sweat it, it may be a bit more work but you don't want to cause him to stress out about it & like most others have said, event NT kids often still wet the bed at 4 (my NT 4yr old turns 5 in July & just now is fully potty trained, he was just stubborn).
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My oldest granddaughter who was the easiest child on earth to potty train and was completely potty trained at 2 years. Well we took her diapers at 2 and she was consistently going on the potty without accidents within two months, was not night dry at 4. Even now at almost 7 she still has the occasional accident. I buy underjams if she is going somewhere that it would embarrass her if she had an accident. She sleeps VERY deeply. Almost all of her uncles do plus her dad. Bedwetting runs in the family. I dont much care. She will outgrow it.