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Took the man child out for dinner for his birthday
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 736299" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Oh Deni, I'm so sorry. You try and do something nice for him and he just wants to hold a grudge.</p><p></p><p>For whatever reason, your son just like mine, refuses to own their behavior. He's only seeing that you had the police remove him from your home, he's not willing to see his role in why that was necessary. </p><p></p><p>With my son, I've done the no contact for long periods of time. Sometimes my choice but mostly my sons choice. It's hard to reach out to someone that does not have a phone or address, only a Kindle that he can connect to the internet once in a while. We are not in the same town let alone the same state.</p><p></p><p>I have very little contact with my son. He's currently in prison. He has written us a few letters and we have replied. I'm the one who usually responds but the last time my husband actually wrote the letter. When my son replied to my husbands letter he made a comment about me, saying that he thought I didn't care about him because he hadn't received a recent letter from me. Seriously, it just left me shaking me head. I'm sure in my son's mind because he is in prison, he feels I should write to him every week. I've worked hard to detach from son and his chaos. I love him dearly but I do not want to get sucked back into the drama and chaos that he chooses to create for himself. That does not change just because he's in jail. </p><p>For whatever reason, my son and perhaps yours are just stuck in the victim role.</p><p></p><p>Detaching from our children doesn't mean we don't love them or care about what happens to them. We have a right to live our own lives without being bogged down by their poor choices of lifestyle.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You have every right to set clear boundaries of what behavior you will allow yourself to be around. You can also tell him that if he chooses to go back on his medications that does not mean that you will take him back into your home. </p><p>Ultimately, it has to be your son's choice to stay on his medications and he needs to make the choice for himself, not just because he thinks he can manipulate you.</p><p></p><p>You did a nice thing for him and he did not appreciate it. It's time you do something nice for YOU!!</p><p></p><p>((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 736299, member: 18516"] Oh Deni, I'm so sorry. You try and do something nice for him and he just wants to hold a grudge. For whatever reason, your son just like mine, refuses to own their behavior. He's only seeing that you had the police remove him from your home, he's not willing to see his role in why that was necessary. With my son, I've done the no contact for long periods of time. Sometimes my choice but mostly my sons choice. It's hard to reach out to someone that does not have a phone or address, only a Kindle that he can connect to the internet once in a while. We are not in the same town let alone the same state. I have very little contact with my son. He's currently in prison. He has written us a few letters and we have replied. I'm the one who usually responds but the last time my husband actually wrote the letter. When my son replied to my husbands letter he made a comment about me, saying that he thought I didn't care about him because he hadn't received a recent letter from me. Seriously, it just left me shaking me head. I'm sure in my son's mind because he is in prison, he feels I should write to him every week. I've worked hard to detach from son and his chaos. I love him dearly but I do not want to get sucked back into the drama and chaos that he chooses to create for himself. That does not change just because he's in jail. For whatever reason, my son and perhaps yours are just stuck in the victim role. Detaching from our children doesn't mean we don't love them or care about what happens to them. We have a right to live our own lives without being bogged down by their poor choices of lifestyle. You have every right to set clear boundaries of what behavior you will allow yourself to be around. You can also tell him that if he chooses to go back on his medications that does not mean that you will take him back into your home. Ultimately, it has to be your son's choice to stay on his medications and he needs to make the choice for himself, not just because he thinks he can manipulate you. You did a nice thing for him and he did not appreciate it. It's time you do something nice for YOU!! ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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Took the man child out for dinner for his birthday
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