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Tools for Detaching? Difficult Child looks for love in all the wrong places.
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<blockquote data-quote="SuperG" data-source="post: 659140" data-attributes="member: 19130"><p>I'm working on making changes now that I've opened my eyes. There's a lot to be done I agree. My business is a tiny, two-person (she and I) business that I actually started a year ago so we could work together when she graduated (it's an ultrasound business). My husband now tells me he thinks I started the business to keep her from possibly moving away with the grands. Maybe he's right. I don't even know. </p><p></p><p>One thing I'm honestly doing right now is trying to keep my nose (and opinions) out of her business. But working together 4 days a week is taking a toll on me only because I can't disengage. I have to see her too much. We get along nicely at work, but only if I keep my mouth and attitude in check. It's getting too stressful to ignore now. Her divorce isn't final and she's bragging about this new man (good grief) and putting him on a pedestal, all the while her kids take a back seat to it all. </p><p></p><p>Just this morning, she dropped middle child off at church (she rarely attends) and never told me he was there. The grands usually come to my house after church on Sunday but since none of them showed up at church (the kids usually come - even if she doesn't) hubby and I left and came home, not knowing he was in his class! We left him at church! Difficult Child had texted me AFTER we were already at church, phones off, telling me she was dropping him off. I never got the message he was there! But she was livid when the church called her to say that he was there, and that we already left. It was somehow MY fault. I was too mentally drained (and not feeling too well physically this weekend either - some virus it seems) to race to the rescue. I did call the church and speak to grandson, and he was really confused as to why we left him there. I tried to explain that his mom was on the way to pick him up, that she hadn't told us he was there, and that we were sorry we didn't know. It all just breaks my heart - for the grands. </p><p></p><p>I'm just worn out with it all. I'm tired of cleaning up after her and helping her figure her life out. I want to sell the business, sell the house she lives in, and set boundaries. Trying to figure out where to start... thanks ladies for listening to my ramblings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuperG, post: 659140, member: 19130"] I'm working on making changes now that I've opened my eyes. There's a lot to be done I agree. My business is a tiny, two-person (she and I) business that I actually started a year ago so we could work together when she graduated (it's an ultrasound business). My husband now tells me he thinks I started the business to keep her from possibly moving away with the grands. Maybe he's right. I don't even know. One thing I'm honestly doing right now is trying to keep my nose (and opinions) out of her business. But working together 4 days a week is taking a toll on me only because I can't disengage. I have to see her too much. We get along nicely at work, but only if I keep my mouth and attitude in check. It's getting too stressful to ignore now. Her divorce isn't final and she's bragging about this new man (good grief) and putting him on a pedestal, all the while her kids take a back seat to it all. Just this morning, she dropped middle child off at church (she rarely attends) and never told me he was there. The grands usually come to my house after church on Sunday but since none of them showed up at church (the kids usually come - even if she doesn't) hubby and I left and came home, not knowing he was in his class! We left him at church! Difficult Child had texted me AFTER we were already at church, phones off, telling me she was dropping him off. I never got the message he was there! But she was livid when the church called her to say that he was there, and that we already left. It was somehow MY fault. I was too mentally drained (and not feeling too well physically this weekend either - some virus it seems) to race to the rescue. I did call the church and speak to grandson, and he was really confused as to why we left him there. I tried to explain that his mom was on the way to pick him up, that she hadn't told us he was there, and that we were sorry we didn't know. It all just breaks my heart - for the grands. I'm just worn out with it all. I'm tired of cleaning up after her and helping her figure her life out. I want to sell the business, sell the house she lives in, and set boundaries. Trying to figure out where to start... thanks ladies for listening to my ramblings. [/QUOTE]
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Tools for Detaching? Difficult Child looks for love in all the wrong places.
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