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Total and Utter Disrespect. Ideas, Insight, Reaction,Opinion?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 616173" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Susie, your replies are always so great to me that I wanted to respond, but I don't remember your backstory either. However, I am sorry you feel disrespected. I know how that is and have made a conscious decision to split from most of my DNA relatives (the ones who I'm supposed to love and they me simply because we have similar DNA).</p><p></p><p>Life is much more peaceful and calm now and I refuse to hang with anyone, no matter who it is, who abuses me and tries to twist it to make me the abuser. I have a son we adopted at age six and I only explain that because I can't believe he'd feel this way about us if we had had him since birth...he is forever trying to talk me into thinking I am an abuser. I wrote him letters when I was grieving because he would not speak to me over a few mistakes I made that would not normally break up a family. He would disagree, but...that is his right. He scanned them into his computer.</p><p></p><p>My therapist, who only sees adoptive families, explained that he keeps them to be able to justify remaining angry and won't think about the good things I have done for him and the love that he had. He has convinced his wife of this. He could have told her I was very good to him, but allowed her to go so far as for her to be scared of me, yet she doesn't know me. I have never hurt him, broken the law to hurt anyone, even spanked him...but he allows her to be afraid of me. For what, I have no idea. Only he knows and only he knows why he didn't refute her fear by assuring her that I am a good person and have always been a loving mother. Why? (shrug)</p><p></p><p>It isn't his fault. He has attachment issues. But in his mind, he thinks he was abused. So be it. After the grieving ended, about five years later, I decided not to allow him to try to tag me as an abuser anymore. I can't control what he thinks, but I can decide not to listen to it. Nobody else on earth has called me abusive so...yet he is very insistent that it is my fault...whatever "it" is. I'm not even sure. The letters?</p><p></p><p>At any rate, I am sorry for your hurting heart. Please know that you should not even listen to that. Whether it is our parents or our children or other loved ones, it always hurts, but with the right therapy we can learn to live with it and even feel sorry for them. They seem to distort reality.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 616173, member: 1550"] Susie, your replies are always so great to me that I wanted to respond, but I don't remember your backstory either. However, I am sorry you feel disrespected. I know how that is and have made a conscious decision to split from most of my DNA relatives (the ones who I'm supposed to love and they me simply because we have similar DNA). Life is much more peaceful and calm now and I refuse to hang with anyone, no matter who it is, who abuses me and tries to twist it to make me the abuser. I have a son we adopted at age six and I only explain that because I can't believe he'd feel this way about us if we had had him since birth...he is forever trying to talk me into thinking I am an abuser. I wrote him letters when I was grieving because he would not speak to me over a few mistakes I made that would not normally break up a family. He would disagree, but...that is his right. He scanned them into his computer. My therapist, who only sees adoptive families, explained that he keeps them to be able to justify remaining angry and won't think about the good things I have done for him and the love that he had. He has convinced his wife of this. He could have told her I was very good to him, but allowed her to go so far as for her to be scared of me, yet she doesn't know me. I have never hurt him, broken the law to hurt anyone, even spanked him...but he allows her to be afraid of me. For what, I have no idea. Only he knows and only he knows why he didn't refute her fear by assuring her that I am a good person and have always been a loving mother. Why? (shrug) It isn't his fault. He has attachment issues. But in his mind, he thinks he was abused. So be it. After the grieving ended, about five years later, I decided not to allow him to try to tag me as an abuser anymore. I can't control what he thinks, but I can decide not to listen to it. Nobody else on earth has called me abusive so...yet he is very insistent that it is my fault...whatever "it" is. I'm not even sure. The letters? At any rate, I am sorry for your hurting heart. Please know that you should not even listen to that. Whether it is our parents or our children or other loved ones, it always hurts, but with the right therapy we can learn to live with it and even feel sorry for them. They seem to distort reality. [/QUOTE]
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