wow i've done a 360 in the last hour! spoke to dr. again while i was buying food with-difficult child earlier. she said to me you know the food phobia's over, right? i said yes. she said ok our goal will be more sustained eating? maybe we should have a meeting on thursday to talk about what our goals are since the phobia's over. i kept hearing food phobia's over. for third time in 3 days. it's all her other disorders and behavioral. so husband was texting me trying to cancel flight and change it again. he texts me how it's 400 to change the flight. i said what you gotta be kidding me. text ex h to see if he's ready to put anything towards all we spent. he says i'll send you two hundred. what?? it costs money down to get her in, ronald mcdonald rental car, flights out here flights back. it adds up. we are officially broke. husband cant' keep up anymore. our rent's going out late, etc. he said your so miserable there jen. i said yup. he said it's time to come home. she'll eat here same she will at home. i called my pyschiatrist her's earlier got them to put a call in to ref us for services the in home crisis team i worked in. will be 5 ppl in my house each week. i didn't qualify last time. now i will due to two hospitalizations. it's case manager to work with difficult child and me, a respite person to give me a break, a person to work with difficult child soley and a parent piece to help me change my behaviors with her. they'll also hook me up with therapists, new pyschiatrist etc. so today he put the call in for me. so he was on hold with airline while we were texting. the pressure was intense. he was like what do i do do i pay the cancellation fee than we gotta wait to get you back till i have money, or do you want me to leave the flight alone? so there i sat in the ronald mcdonald house cramming brownie after brownie in my mouth because i was so nervous. long story short i'm going home. we're flying out wed. a.m. at 6 a.m. layover in utah for a few hours. will arrive in jfk by 6 p.m. long day. hope you guys are feeling me on this and back me. i'm a bit nervous because i was so adament about staying than suddenly i heard the amt of money. than how easy child is officially out of control. the food phobia's over 2nd time in one day. and that was it BOOM i just decided enough is enough i'm out.