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Totally ungrateful
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 649906" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I'm sorry you are going through this. Yes, he is very ungrateful. My son has been in and out jail / prison many times. I have never paid for an attorney for him. He started getting in trouble as a teen and even back then I would not spend money on an attorney. I was always there for him, went to all the court hearings but was not going to spend money on an attorney to get him out of the trouble he had gotten himself into. I knew that would only send a message to him that what he had done was really no big deal but it is a big deal.</p><p>It's the "mommy" in us that does not want to see our children in trouble or suffering but that is where we have to separate our emotions from reality.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You know the answer, you know what you need to do and what you shouldn't do. You have not been a fool, you have simply hoped that your love for him would be enough. It's heartbreaking to learn that it's not, that you cannot kiss his booboo and make it better.</p><p></p><p>He's an adult now, making adult choices, it's time he face adult consequences. Let him kick and scream all he wants, don't buy into it. You deserve to have a calm life and it's up to you to make that happen for yourself.</p><p></p><p>You need to set boundaries. When my son was in jail and he would call, he would start on his ranting and raging and cussing. I do not tolerate any of that and told him if he continued I would hang up. There were many times I hung up on him. I learned over time the best way for us to communicate was via letters.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, you will get through this.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 649906, member: 18516"] I'm sorry you are going through this. Yes, he is very ungrateful. My son has been in and out jail / prison many times. I have never paid for an attorney for him. He started getting in trouble as a teen and even back then I would not spend money on an attorney. I was always there for him, went to all the court hearings but was not going to spend money on an attorney to get him out of the trouble he had gotten himself into. I knew that would only send a message to him that what he had done was really no big deal but it is a big deal. It's the "mommy" in us that does not want to see our children in trouble or suffering but that is where we have to separate our emotions from reality. You know the answer, you know what you need to do and what you shouldn't do. You have not been a fool, you have simply hoped that your love for him would be enough. It's heartbreaking to learn that it's not, that you cannot kiss his booboo and make it better. He's an adult now, making adult choices, it's time he face adult consequences. Let him kick and scream all he wants, don't buy into it. You deserve to have a calm life and it's up to you to make that happen for yourself. You need to set boundaries. When my son was in jail and he would call, he would start on his ranting and raging and cussing. I do not tolerate any of that and told him if he continued I would hang up. There were many times I hung up on him. I learned over time the best way for us to communicate was via letters. Hang in there, you will get through this. ((HUGS)) to you.............. [/QUOTE]
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