Tough love again!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by standswithcourage, May 27, 2008.

  1. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Well I guess bond hearing Friday got pretty boring so I changed to tough love again and that is what it is - I feel like I am back to square one - my difficult child has a hearing tomorrow in town and he will have to go it alone. It isnt for what he is in there for but for another ticket he got while out for littering! Honestly I dont see how he just bounces back from all this - I would be flat of my back by now -
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Omg...that just gave me a huge case of the giggles. Im sorry...but...Im laughing so hard right now. He is in all this trouble, out on bond, getting revoked...and he gets a ticket for littering! Couldnt he have Jaywalked too while he was littering?

    I know I know..Palmetto Pride!

    Dont worry about the littering ticket, they wont do much to him I dont reckon. I mean he is in jail already...what can they do to him that is worse? Make him do chain gang duty picking up litter? Snicker snicker!
  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    stands, I believe you are sounding much stronger in your posts. Your son is not quite getting it yet, but I think you have progressed in realizing his choices are not yours.....You have a right to live your life without your son taking up every breathing moment of your time......keep up the good work......And how can he put up with his life? He's making choices and finally getting consequences.....when he can connect them perhaps you will see a change.....he has no choice now, but to deal with his crimes......even littering.....oooh, he's probably even happy to get out of his cell to go to court over this!.......
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Stands, I think you're sounding stronger too and have much more resolve. That's good news.

    And about the littering ticket, sorry but I got a little giggle out of it too because I may be the only one here old enough to remember Arlo Guthrie in that scene from "Alice's Restaurant"!

    I'm really surprised that they would go to all the trouble and expense to transport your son to court over a ticket for littering! But in the State prison where I work, we have inmates who get write ups for littering, or even for having a library book overdue ... like they really care!
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Palmetto Pride - WHAT an oxymoooooooooreon.

    I know if I got a ticket for littering I'd be looking at 15-life. And I pick up road trash so much the DOT asked if we wanted a SIGN......laughing - yeah I got yer sign.

    DF recently told this to Dude in a similar incident - and I'll pass it on to you.

    If you're going to be stupid, you'd better be tough.

  6. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Absolutely! His littering ticket was in an area that the police already know him well. He was coming home at 2 in the morning - with a guy that was probably playing his stereo as loud as it would go and no telling what condition they were in - duh! My difficult child shouldnt even be in that city much less litter. They would probably get him for making a face in that city.!!! It is like a no-brainer to me. why not to him????????
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I get my local news channels out of SC so I see those Palmetto Pride commercials with the cops writing the littering tickets. Heaven help you if a piece of trash blows out of the back of your pick up truck!
  8. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Well...they say there is a reason for everything that happens to us.

    Maybe something like this really IS for the best, Stands.

  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think the best thing you can do for everyone right now is to give your love and attention to those around you who don't stab you in the back at every given chance. It's time to stop thinking about him and start thinking about your husband and PCs. Did you ever make that appointment with your therapist?
  10. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    For some of our difficult child's it's got to be tough love ALL the time. We definately have to interact with our difficult child like that and I suspect we will for the rest of our lives, sadly. You do sound strong Stands, and it looks good on you!
  11. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Stands, you are doing great, I am so proud of you.

    However angry we are with our kids, they are still our kids even if they are difficult children so a certain amount of concern will always be there. The main thing is to keep it in proportion, and it seems to me that you are learning how -- in the toughest way there is, but that's life and you are learning it.

    I don't know you at all, but I feel closer and closer to you as time goes by and you are being forced to learn these dreadful lessons and cope with them, and I want to give you a big hug.

    Love, Esther
  12. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mom, thanks for this. With what's going on with my Oldest, I sometimes despair .. because I know I will be dealing with this the rest of her life ... this made me feel a little less alone in that.

    Stands, I agree you're getting stronger. No need for you to be at any hearing. Do something for yourself. It's almost summer, go get a pedicure :)
  13. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Thanks so much. You all make me feel better. You know if it was anyone else they would be looking at me like I am crazy but you guys dont - you know - so that makes me feel good. thanks