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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 496301" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for your 2 cents, IC (worth much more than that, natch <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) Well, to ADHD or not to ADHD (that is the question). I'm pretty sure it is. Plus other things possibly too, of course. It is interesting what you say about extreme emotionality not going with ADHD because I have honestly read <strong>lots</strong> of times in "expert explanations" that it does... So I don't know. Anyway, as usual, we come down to the basic point that whatever it is <strong>called</strong>, the difficulties and lack of skills to deal with frustration are there. I think there is some insecure attachment, yes, for all sorts of reasons, and it probably is crucial too to what is going on, as you say. </p><p>What happened this morning is kind of typical for what happens in these "mini meltdowns" (well, it was a very mini one this morning). We got up about 7 and had a nice, leisurely time getting up and ready (one of the advantages of living a minute away from the school): J listened to a story, had breakfast, I read him a story, we talked (memories of when we went to Wales one summer), he got dressed, ran round the block very fast (something I encourage him to do often) - a really nice, affectionate time with absolutely no conflict or drama, J being co-operative and pleasant. And then... as we were getting ready to walk down to school, I asked him which jacket he wants to put on - at which point he explodes. Doesn't want to wear a jacket. Starts crying and shouting. I say okay, you don't have to wear a jacket but put a big sweatshirt on. This we do, he very reluctant and then he explodes again; the sweatshirt is too long, the sleeves are too long, he doesn't like it. Then I find a light summery jacket and cheerfully insist he put it on - grudgingly he does so. All the way down to school he is cranky and upset, bringing up hidden grievances from the morning, centering on the fact that I won't wipe him any more after he goes to the loo and saying he can't do it properly (not true), and is clingy and cry-ey when I leave him at the school gate.... So one little (to the outside eye) incident has these big repercussions... He is always so fussy about clothes, shoes, food, etc, etc. Not really the texture or feel of things but just not liking certain things without apparent rhyme or reason. </p><p>It is always this way, it seems... he gets upset over (to me) really minor things and then that just kind of blows up and up until we are both upset and antagonistic. Didn't happen today because he went to school... if he had been at home, he wouldn't have "got over" the upset but it would have dragged on in some form.</p><p>So... that's how it goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 496301, member: 11227"] Thanks for your 2 cents, IC (worth much more than that, natch :)) Well, to ADHD or not to ADHD (that is the question). I'm pretty sure it is. Plus other things possibly too, of course. It is interesting what you say about extreme emotionality not going with ADHD because I have honestly read [B]lots[/B] of times in "expert explanations" that it does... So I don't know. Anyway, as usual, we come down to the basic point that whatever it is [B]called[/B], the difficulties and lack of skills to deal with frustration are there. I think there is some insecure attachment, yes, for all sorts of reasons, and it probably is crucial too to what is going on, as you say. What happened this morning is kind of typical for what happens in these "mini meltdowns" (well, it was a very mini one this morning). We got up about 7 and had a nice, leisurely time getting up and ready (one of the advantages of living a minute away from the school): J listened to a story, had breakfast, I read him a story, we talked (memories of when we went to Wales one summer), he got dressed, ran round the block very fast (something I encourage him to do often) - a really nice, affectionate time with absolutely no conflict or drama, J being co-operative and pleasant. And then... as we were getting ready to walk down to school, I asked him which jacket he wants to put on - at which point he explodes. Doesn't want to wear a jacket. Starts crying and shouting. I say okay, you don't have to wear a jacket but put a big sweatshirt on. This we do, he very reluctant and then he explodes again; the sweatshirt is too long, the sleeves are too long, he doesn't like it. Then I find a light summery jacket and cheerfully insist he put it on - grudgingly he does so. All the way down to school he is cranky and upset, bringing up hidden grievances from the morning, centering on the fact that I won't wipe him any more after he goes to the loo and saying he can't do it properly (not true), and is clingy and cry-ey when I leave him at the school gate.... So one little (to the outside eye) incident has these big repercussions... He is always so fussy about clothes, shoes, food, etc, etc. Not really the texture or feel of things but just not liking certain things without apparent rhyme or reason. It is always this way, it seems... he gets upset over (to me) really minor things and then that just kind of blows up and up until we are both upset and antagonistic. Didn't happen today because he went to school... if he had been at home, he wouldn't have "got over" the upset but it would have dragged on in some form. So... that's how it goes. [/QUOTE]
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