Touph day today.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Ropefree, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Hi there!
    Part of what has been difficult in the last year is living with the knowledge my mother is suffering. After a dire situation her fragile grasp was progressing and then over winter a bit of decline. Now over the last few days she had to have a emergency surgery and as last heard from my sister our mother has not been able to talk. She had a blood preassure dip and there is suspicion of brain damage.
    My mother wore combat boots. (what not surprised?) she married the man of her dreams and they lived a life that is just one of those epic love stories.
    The were there when jfk took office, they went to the cavern to ;isten to the band from liverpool, were in alabama when mlking was making history and stuck it through a family business, and retirement and she is maybe not going to recover.
    The first memory I have of her is with that do that mary tyler moore somehow made her own on the dick van dike show.She had on Those narrow capri pants and we were playing together on the floor in the kitchen.The last time i talked to her she couldn't hold the phone to her ear.
    She sounded really frightened.
    What she told me all my life was that the day she died would be a happy day because of her faith.
    She would say remember the happy times.
    I so hope that she can stay with us. That this moment will be just one dark fleeting thing like last year. When I cryed so much my puffy eyes creased over and it looked like for sure i was going to need a cosmectic proceedure now. That time her mother, my grandmother was utterly optimistic. Like some catastophic stroke was just worrisome, but no big deal, she will be fine. when i heard that wow, i had hope.
    This time Grandma is crying.
    And I had a tough day all day today.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry your mother is not doing well. As hard as it might be, take your cue from her. She knows she lived a full, loving life and her faith tells her that she has journied her life to finally go home. Prayers you way.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Prayers being said.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Prayers and hugs. I'm so sorry.
  5. artana

    artana New Member

  6. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry that your mother is not well. I hope she is not in any pain.
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Dear Rope:

    Wow! What an amazing woman your mom sounds like! It's always hardest on those left behind when things come to the end, especially when they are as dynamic as your mom sounds!

    Littledudesmom put it best when she said to take your cues from your mom. She sounds at peace with things and while that's so hard for you to do, she'll be more at peace knowing that you're ok. Truthfully, it sounds like you're already starting down the road to healing because you're already remembering the good times - which is what I believe she would want you to do.

    God Bless you and yours - I'll definately keep you in my prayers!

  8. Ropefree,

    You and your Mom are in my prayers.

    She was an awesome woman who lived through awesome times. Just know that she will always live on through you and your memories.

    Sending lots of gentle hugs.

  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am sorry she is not doing well, but it is good to hear your memories. Hold them dear to you. Hugs.
  10. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm sorry she is not well. It is very difficult when a parent gets ill. Hugs to you.
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry Rope. Sending many (((HUGS))) and lots of prayers.
  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{ropefree}} Your mom lived an amazing life. What you describe reminds me so much of my own mom. She's 86 and has seen so much also. When Obama was sworn in, I called her and she was just amazed, weeping with not only joy but astonishment. She lived through it all and to see something that momentus take place, just left her speechless.

    Like yours, my mom's health has been failing, though for her it's mostly her memory failing and she's also slowed a lot. She's sometimes not the mom I remember, as she often can't recall simple things like who I'm married to or if I have children at all, let alone their names.

    I choose to remember her the way she was rather than how she is now. While it's nice to hear her talk of things I don't recall (she had me quite later in life and I missed a lot by then!), I prefer to remember her adventurous side. Like your mom, everyone always said my mother was a woman born before her time. She and my dad also had a very passionate and long marriage until my dad passed. There love was born in the 40's, at a very turbulent time in America and they endured so much together.

    Cherish the memories you have of your mom and continue to celebrate her spirit and determination. And just be there for her now. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    (((hugs))) for your hurting heart.

    You're Mom sounds like an awesome woman, you've been blessed to have her in your life.
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    RF, I'm so sorry your mom's health has deteriorated to this point. :( I'm sending huge, warm, supportive hugs to you. What you wrote about her life sounds like she had a very full, very wonderful time here. That she is so comfortable with the final stage in her life IS testament to her strong faith, and that should be of some comfort to you, despite the pain you are feeling now at the thought of her leaving you.

    I haven't lost a parent, but I can imagine that losing someone like that would be a very hard thing to go through. And yet we all must go through it at some point.

    Hang in there, and try to remember the happy times like she's told you to do. Mother does know best.
  15. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Thanks for all your kind words and well wishes and prayers.
    right now a caution wet floors sign with a box of kleenex outside her door in the hall at the hospital is all we can do. She is one determined person. Really loves life. If she pulls herself out this it will be a relief, and she is a mirical girl so it would not be a surprise.
  16. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    I'm sorry you're in so much pain regarding your mother's deteriorating health. You were truly blessed to have had such wonderful parents. It sounds like she's still parenting you now - in sharing with you that she's at peace with the next step in her journey - she's role modelling grace and acceptance. Spend as much time as you can with her, show her how much you love her, and you will carry on her lovely spirit.

    Your family will be in my prayers.
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I enjoyed reading about the memories you shared with us about you and your Mom. What a legacy to leave for your daughter. Who among us would ever want to loose such an incredible woman, best friend and love.

    You're Mother raised a very special daughter in that the way you speak about her is balanced with love and humor. I have no doubts that she knows how much you love and cherish her.

    If there were anything I could say that would help you even a little? I would have surely written it by now. So just know that I took a little bit of your pain today when I read your post and cried too. Certainly I wish your Mom a miraculous recovery and more time with you.

  18. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Thanks Star.
    You are so dear to indulge me with paragraphs. I do find such pleasure and comfort in a deep fluffy wrap of words.
    cyber hanky...
    Ihug. pat on the hands. Thankyou.
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2009