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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 5630" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Merris, I have been in your shoes as far as having to play the dual role of the mom and the victim. My son went into a rage just before Christmas last year and attacked me and broke a rib. He too was using pot and possibly other drugs along with his regular medications. I understand your confusion and your pain. Please see a therapist. You might not think you need one but it is important even if only for a couple of times. These kinds of events can impact us later on in very negative ways if we are not debriefed by a professional soon after the assault. Believe me we cannot get through this type of thing without support. Not even the strongest of us. My difficult child's therapist stepped right in to the role of my therapist immediately when i called to tell her what had happened. I credit her with helping me to realize that it was not my fault not even a little bit. She told me to surround myself with "safe" people and to take care of myself.</p><p></p><p>At first , I was reluctant to tell my friends because after tellin the couple I was closest to they reacted so violently toward what my son had done that I was further tramatized. I became somewhat reclusive for about four months. Over time I have been able to open up and talk about what my son did with my neighbors and friends but it took time. I do still have some minor symptoms of PTSD but am working through them too. I do not think they will be a permanant thing. Like you I do not want my son to live with me again. At first my mommie instincts just kicked in and I was all about advocating for him and worrying about him in prison. Then after that inital chaos settled down, for a long while I was just numb. I truly had no feelings for difficult child. Then the anger set in and I wanted nothing more to do with him. But the mom part of me isn't so sure now. I am currently struggling with figuring out what I am willing to do for him and what I will just leave up to him and the system. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 5630, member: 2315"] Merris, I have been in your shoes as far as having to play the dual role of the mom and the victim. My son went into a rage just before Christmas last year and attacked me and broke a rib. He too was using pot and possibly other drugs along with his regular medications. I understand your confusion and your pain. Please see a therapist. You might not think you need one but it is important even if only for a couple of times. These kinds of events can impact us later on in very negative ways if we are not debriefed by a professional soon after the assault. Believe me we cannot get through this type of thing without support. Not even the strongest of us. My difficult child's therapist stepped right in to the role of my therapist immediately when i called to tell her what had happened. I credit her with helping me to realize that it was not my fault not even a little bit. She told me to surround myself with "safe" people and to take care of myself. At first , I was reluctant to tell my friends because after tellin the couple I was closest to they reacted so violently toward what my son had done that I was further tramatized. I became somewhat reclusive for about four months. Over time I have been able to open up and talk about what my son did with my neighbors and friends but it took time. I do still have some minor symptoms of PTSD but am working through them too. I do not think they will be a permanant thing. Like you I do not want my son to live with me again. At first my mommie instincts just kicked in and I was all about advocating for him and worrying about him in prison. Then after that inital chaos settled down, for a long while I was just numb. I truly had no feelings for difficult child. Then the anger set in and I wanted nothing more to do with him. But the mom part of me isn't so sure now. I am currently struggling with figuring out what I am willing to do for him and what I will just leave up to him and the system. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. -RM [/QUOTE]
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