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Treating them like an adult is confusing...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 695197" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, this is how I see it. Take it or leave it.</p><p></p><p>As you know hubby and I dont drink. Hub used to (alot) but he doesnt anymore. We allow drinking in our housr. Jumpers boyfriend is productive, hardworking, mature and 24 and he has one Bud Light here sometimes. Jumper says he never gets drunk. Most people can control the amount they drink.</p><p></p><p>But not everyone is ABLE to drink sensibly. Some people cant...they are not able to have one drink of wine snd stop. They have to keep drinking once they start.</p><p></p><p>They are the worlds alcoholics. The can't be taught to drink responsibly. Alcohol is poisen to them. Its legal so these people can buy it...and get sicker and sicker.</p><p></p><p>Your son is a substance abuser. He uses pot daily and constantly is in an altered state. If he were my son, and I drank, I would treat your son the same way I'd treat anyone who is a substance abuser who was in front of me. I'd treat him exactly as if he had gone to rehab and was home on a visit. Because he is at risk to go there.</p><p></p><p>I would not drink in front of him. Ever. If you do, it causes all kinds of questions as you are facing now and he will feel perfectly justified drinking in your house in front of you which, with his enjoyment of an altered state and genetic predisposition to alcoholism, might make him like alcohol enough to go out to bars too. I would want to show him that alcohol isn't necessary for a full life. Hes already latched on to pot.</p><p></p><p>Drinking in front of him is your right. You and Jabber are not at risk to abuse. But your son is not as lucky. I truly think youll be glad if you only drink away from him...or he will start drinking more. And with your soft heart you could blame yourself. It could escalate fast. Sometimes, to help friends and family, we have to do things we'd rather not do.</p><p></p><p>I would not eat a big piece of french silk pie in front of my friend who is dieting. I woud eat it after she left. For the same reason.</p><p></p><p>Also, in all but age, your son is a child dependent on you. He is expected to grow up...but he isnt close yet. He is more like a youngish teen with similar lack of motivation and impulse control and is not living an adult existence. He lives in your house, on your dime.</p><p></p><p>If you dont want to do this I am out of ideas...but i do wish you lots of luck. This is an issue for many people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 695197, member: 1550"] Ok, this is how I see it. Take it or leave it. As you know hubby and I dont drink. Hub used to (alot) but he doesnt anymore. We allow drinking in our housr. Jumpers boyfriend is productive, hardworking, mature and 24 and he has one Bud Light here sometimes. Jumper says he never gets drunk. Most people can control the amount they drink. But not everyone is ABLE to drink sensibly. Some people cant...they are not able to have one drink of wine snd stop. They have to keep drinking once they start. They are the worlds alcoholics. The can't be taught to drink responsibly. Alcohol is poisen to them. Its legal so these people can buy it...and get sicker and sicker. Your son is a substance abuser. He uses pot daily and constantly is in an altered state. If he were my son, and I drank, I would treat your son the same way I'd treat anyone who is a substance abuser who was in front of me. I'd treat him exactly as if he had gone to rehab and was home on a visit. Because he is at risk to go there. I would not drink in front of him. Ever. If you do, it causes all kinds of questions as you are facing now and he will feel perfectly justified drinking in your house in front of you which, with his enjoyment of an altered state and genetic predisposition to alcoholism, might make him like alcohol enough to go out to bars too. I would want to show him that alcohol isn't necessary for a full life. Hes already latched on to pot. Drinking in front of him is your right. You and Jabber are not at risk to abuse. But your son is not as lucky. I truly think youll be glad if you only drink away from him...or he will start drinking more. And with your soft heart you could blame yourself. It could escalate fast. Sometimes, to help friends and family, we have to do things we'd rather not do. I would not eat a big piece of french silk pie in front of my friend who is dieting. I woud eat it after she left. For the same reason. Also, in all but age, your son is a child dependent on you. He is expected to grow up...but he isnt close yet. He is more like a youngish teen with similar lack of motivation and impulse control and is not living an adult existence. He lives in your house, on your dime. If you dont want to do this I am out of ideas...but i do wish you lots of luck. This is an issue for many people. [/QUOTE]
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