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Parent Emeritus
Treating them like an adult is confusing...
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 695580" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>You have concerns about treating him like a child with the alcohol. But isn't it also treating him like a child with reminding him of what to take care of with student loans, asking what time he has to go to work, reminding him to do laundry, etc. Let him do this on his own. I know you are scared he will fall. But if not now, when? What happens when he moves out? He has to learn to "remember" to do things on his own. Yes he is required to do basic housekeeping chores and not leave things for you and Jabber. If he leaves things not done, pack it up in a garbage bag and put it in his room. Don't do his cleanup. </p><p></p><p>The alcohol issue: It is your house. You and Jabber work all day and should be able to come home and have a drink if you want to. You drink responsibly in your own home. YOU shouldn't have to give it up totally- he is not in rehab. If he was- I would say, refrain until he moves out.</p><p></p><p>BUT- maybe the rule would be for him since he is 21. Maybe say you are allowed to drink in our presence at a minimum. But no drinking before he goes to work and no drinking in your home when not there. I fear he will drink and drive outside the home, fo to sneaking it in the home, in his room, etc then you have bigger issues if he gets stopped by police.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 695580, member: 19951"] You have concerns about treating him like a child with the alcohol. But isn't it also treating him like a child with reminding him of what to take care of with student loans, asking what time he has to go to work, reminding him to do laundry, etc. Let him do this on his own. I know you are scared he will fall. But if not now, when? What happens when he moves out? He has to learn to "remember" to do things on his own. Yes he is required to do basic housekeeping chores and not leave things for you and Jabber. If he leaves things not done, pack it up in a garbage bag and put it in his room. Don't do his cleanup. The alcohol issue: It is your house. You and Jabber work all day and should be able to come home and have a drink if you want to. You drink responsibly in your own home. YOU shouldn't have to give it up totally- he is not in rehab. If he was- I would say, refrain until he moves out. BUT- maybe the rule would be for him since he is 21. Maybe say you are allowed to drink in our presence at a minimum. But no drinking before he goes to work and no drinking in your home when not there. I fear he will drink and drive outside the home, fo to sneaking it in the home, in his room, etc then you have bigger issues if he gets stopped by police. [/QUOTE]
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Treating them like an adult is confusing...
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