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tried the Al Anon meetings
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 511320" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I have a similar experience as H&R. I've gone to CoDa meetings on and off for 20 years and they're very helpful. I've had 19 years of personal therapy and been in countless support groups. All helpful. The single most valuable tool, for me, was getting into a Codependency support group through a local hospital's Chemical Dependency program which is specifically for Codependents. It's lead by a therapist trained in Codependency issues and we meet once a week. the program goes on in stages for at least a year. Stage one is the beginning, Stage two is where the heavy lifting is done and Stage 3 is maintenance. I've learned more in this program and grown more and detached more then in any other counseling I've done. Just for the issues with my difficult child, not other issues which other therapies were perfect for, but this is a specific issue which for me, needed specific therapy. </p><p></p><p>The support of a therapist who is right there with you, plus listening to other parents going through the same thing is remarkable. It's as if I am in a group with you guys AND with a trained therapist. For me, the detaching and getting on with my own life has been the most challenging thing to do. As a Mom, those are counter-intuitive to what Motherhood is supposed to be. It's also helped me with understanding the difference between enabling and doing loving things for my difficult child and when to draw the line. And, to recognize where it began in me, in my childhood. </p><p></p><p>In the West, the facility that has this program is called Kaiser Permanente. If anyone is interested in finding out more, you might Google Kaiser and search for the Chemical Dependency Program, perhaps you can call them and inquire as to what other Hospitals or plans offer similar programs. Of course, we all learn and discover differently, but this has been what I needed to really make the changes necessary.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and blessings to you Tired!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 511320, member: 13542"] I have a similar experience as H&R. I've gone to CoDa meetings on and off for 20 years and they're very helpful. I've had 19 years of personal therapy and been in countless support groups. All helpful. The single most valuable tool, for me, was getting into a Codependency support group through a local hospital's Chemical Dependency program which is specifically for Codependents. It's lead by a therapist trained in Codependency issues and we meet once a week. the program goes on in stages for at least a year. Stage one is the beginning, Stage two is where the heavy lifting is done and Stage 3 is maintenance. I've learned more in this program and grown more and detached more then in any other counseling I've done. Just for the issues with my difficult child, not other issues which other therapies were perfect for, but this is a specific issue which for me, needed specific therapy. The support of a therapist who is right there with you, plus listening to other parents going through the same thing is remarkable. It's as if I am in a group with you guys AND with a trained therapist. For me, the detaching and getting on with my own life has been the most challenging thing to do. As a Mom, those are counter-intuitive to what Motherhood is supposed to be. It's also helped me with understanding the difference between enabling and doing loving things for my difficult child and when to draw the line. And, to recognize where it began in me, in my childhood. In the West, the facility that has this program is called Kaiser Permanente. If anyone is interested in finding out more, you might Google Kaiser and search for the Chemical Dependency Program, perhaps you can call them and inquire as to what other Hospitals or plans offer similar programs. Of course, we all learn and discover differently, but this has been what I needed to really make the changes necessary. Hugs and blessings to you Tired! [/QUOTE]
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