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Parent Emeritus
tried the Al Anon meetings
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 511386"><p>I have found the alanon parents group I go to incredibly helpful... helpful in a different way than therapy.... I did go to therapy for over a year to deal with my issues of letting go and just getting some good support on how to handle things.</p><p></p><p>I think with alanon the particular group of people makes a huge difference. In the meeting I attend there are quite a number of people who have been going for years and help keep the focus on ourselves rather than eveyrone venting about their kids. Everyone is allowed to share so people do share about their kids....but the goal is to make it about ourselves. My experience is newcomers tend to focus more on their kids (I did too) but with time it becomes about ourselves and how to get through this hard stuff, and how to go on living a good and happy life. There are enough people at the meeting who are doing that, to give inspiration to those of us trying to figure that out. But to me a big key is the group of people and kind of the group culture. I can imagine a meeting where everyone told sad story after sad story about their kids which might not be helpful. So Tired.... see if you can find a different meeting which might be more helpful.</p><p></p><p>And you are doing the right things... and yes he might be homeless and hungry, that might be what he needs to decide to get help.</p><p></p><p>My son recently went into rehab after being homless and hungry... I refused to give him any money for food. It was very hard to do... however I found out he had to detox from alcohol.. which means the money I was giving him before that was probably for booze not food!!!! It will fill that tummy up and get rid of the hunger and give you a buzz to boot. When I found that out i was very glad I had put my foot down on any more money.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 511386"] I have found the alanon parents group I go to incredibly helpful... helpful in a different way than therapy.... I did go to therapy for over a year to deal with my issues of letting go and just getting some good support on how to handle things. I think with alanon the particular group of people makes a huge difference. In the meeting I attend there are quite a number of people who have been going for years and help keep the focus on ourselves rather than eveyrone venting about their kids. Everyone is allowed to share so people do share about their kids....but the goal is to make it about ourselves. My experience is newcomers tend to focus more on their kids (I did too) but with time it becomes about ourselves and how to get through this hard stuff, and how to go on living a good and happy life. There are enough people at the meeting who are doing that, to give inspiration to those of us trying to figure that out. But to me a big key is the group of people and kind of the group culture. I can imagine a meeting where everyone told sad story after sad story about their kids which might not be helpful. So Tired.... see if you can find a different meeting which might be more helpful. And you are doing the right things... and yes he might be homeless and hungry, that might be what he needs to decide to get help. My son recently went into rehab after being homless and hungry... I refused to give him any money for food. It was very hard to do... however I found out he had to detox from alcohol.. which means the money I was giving him before that was probably for booze not food!!!! It will fill that tummy up and get rid of the hunger and give you a buzz to boot. When I found that out i was very glad I had put my foot down on any more money. TL [/QUOTE]
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