J spent 10 days with his dad and family in the mountains in Morocco and came back to me in Marrakech the day before we flew back to France. He has been with me generally good - hyperactive (of course) but not oppositional and on the whole very sweet. However, on Wednesday there was trouble at the play centre. Apparently the director called me but I didn't take the call as I was in bed with the first flush of flu (now beginning to feel a little human again... ). When I arrived to pick him up the others were watching a DVD and J was standing in the corridor; when he saw me he started crying. Apparently he had been punished. The director wanted to speak to me - I knew we shouldn't do this in front of J but was not quick enough on the uptake to formulate this quickly. She told me in outraged tones how J and the other very hyperactive boy that goes there had been rude and insolent, hitting the other children (by which I imagine she means his play fighting,which is what he himself said) and refused to listen all day... She said they don't have enough staff to deal with them all - apparently there are four hyperactive kids in total that go there, incredible - and wants us to draw up a "protocol" for all the kids with special needs so that they can try and get more staff assigned. She would also like to speak to J's psychiatrist about how to deal with him... J in the meantime was howling and sobbing in the corner of the room, next to a fridge, hearing our conversation... what a shambles... This woman has got upset with J before; I think she's the kind (I can relate) who takes the rudeness personally. I explained to her that getting angry and punishing makes things worse, that promising rewards for good behaviour does much better. Apparently the other hyperactive boy is much "worse" than J and I am wondering whether things are ever going to be manageable if they are together... Eventually the director went off to talk to the sobbing J, sitting on the floor beside him, and promised him that if he was good next Wednesday he would watch the DVD. At which he stopped crying. I have agreed I will draw up this "protocol" with them to try to deal with J better.... not sure I think it's the best option. Should he continue going there with this other kid? I was feeling quite despairing about this on Wednesday, having arrived out of left field. Honestly it's hard to understand how J can be both so good and sweet and so difficult and oppositional at other times.