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Troubled 13yo from tough background is extremely defiant
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<blockquote data-quote="orcaauntie" data-source="post: 456900" data-attributes="member: 12721"><p>My mom spoke with doctor/counselor and said they are not able to diagnose bipolar in patients under 18. This stinks because she most likely has it. I do not recall my sister being diagnosed with bipolar until she was older. So she was not medicated at 12 when she was causing so much trouble and spiraled from there and neither will my niece, obviously. As of today, my mom has someone looking for the best behavioral counselor for my niece's specific problems. Hopefully she finds one soon. I also suggested to my Mom that she see one that can teach her the best skills to deal with my niece's individual problems. She said she will- and she saw someone yesterday but not sure she saw a specific behavioral psychologist.</p><p></p><p>My mom has made an appointment with my niece's counselor, and another lady to discuss any programs that may be available to her, to help her. I had suggested a big sister program or something like that. I guess her counselor said that my niece moving here may be best and this is why I suggested she needs to find a counselor/psychologist who is trained and specialized in these behavioral problems. I think her counselor saying that moving here is best is indication that she's not working on my niece's problems. I think that is just the easy way out- however, would get her away from negative friends and "Mom". Quite frankly, in talking with my husband, we are not ready to be parents, and take this on ourselves. We have no experience, and do not think we'll do any better. Behavior modification needs to be attempted and needs to be consistent, and not given up on if it doesn't yield results in a month. I just told my mom this- we need to work on the behavioral issues first, then discuss her moving later if it becomes necessary. </p><p></p><p>My niece has a major entitlement issue and it needs to be adjusted. She thinks she's entitled to FB, phone, etc. She's not. Do you all think that deleting her FB is best? Or, just limiting its usage? I also suggested to my Mom to cancel my niece's cell phone and get a prepaid one, and then my niece has to earn the minutes. I think it's a good idea, but maybe I am wrong. </p><p></p><p>I've just seen this stuff in the past not work with my sister. So I of course jump to the conclusion that it will not work with my niece. However back then all my sister had was a beeper. Cell phones weren't "in", and computers and internet weren't in everyone's household. So the only thing to "take away" were her friends. That made her sneak out and go party with them.. at 12, 13, 14.. So maybe since the phone and internet is so important to my niece, the results could be different when they are taken away and/or limited..... and earned. I sure hope so. As pathetic as it may sound- I am so scared that our efforts will make her spiral downward further and further.</p><p></p><p>The issue is, my niece has no respect for my Mom- just like my sister never had, my sister hates my Mom. Literally. And any conversations she has had with her Mom in any recent months or year have I bet, been about my Mom, and my sister has brainwashed my niece into the same thinking because the things she says are EXACTLY what my sister says about my Mom. It's obvious we need to get her Mom out of her life no matter what. Even with no custody and a no contact order she finds a way, and I know my niece has at least made plans to sneak around to see her Mom. Whether it actually happened, I do not know. </p><p></p><p>My mom is submitting an application for casting on the Super Nanny show. She must have submitted something online, and they called her to complete an application. That is how desperate she is. She knows the show may make her look like complete **** for ratings but she doesn't care.</p><p></p><p>Gosh....... sorry I write so much! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sorrysmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sorrysmiley:" title="sorrysmiley :sorrysmiley:" data-shortname=":sorrysmiley:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="orcaauntie, post: 456900, member: 12721"] My mom spoke with doctor/counselor and said they are not able to diagnose bipolar in patients under 18. This stinks because she most likely has it. I do not recall my sister being diagnosed with bipolar until she was older. So she was not medicated at 12 when she was causing so much trouble and spiraled from there and neither will my niece, obviously. As of today, my mom has someone looking for the best behavioral counselor for my niece's specific problems. Hopefully she finds one soon. I also suggested to my Mom that she see one that can teach her the best skills to deal with my niece's individual problems. She said she will- and she saw someone yesterday but not sure she saw a specific behavioral psychologist. My mom has made an appointment with my niece's counselor, and another lady to discuss any programs that may be available to her, to help her. I had suggested a big sister program or something like that. I guess her counselor said that my niece moving here may be best and this is why I suggested she needs to find a counselor/psychologist who is trained and specialized in these behavioral problems. I think her counselor saying that moving here is best is indication that she's not working on my niece's problems. I think that is just the easy way out- however, would get her away from negative friends and "Mom". Quite frankly, in talking with my husband, we are not ready to be parents, and take this on ourselves. We have no experience, and do not think we'll do any better. Behavior modification needs to be attempted and needs to be consistent, and not given up on if it doesn't yield results in a month. I just told my mom this- we need to work on the behavioral issues first, then discuss her moving later if it becomes necessary. My niece has a major entitlement issue and it needs to be adjusted. She thinks she's entitled to FB, phone, etc. She's not. Do you all think that deleting her FB is best? Or, just limiting its usage? I also suggested to my Mom to cancel my niece's cell phone and get a prepaid one, and then my niece has to earn the minutes. I think it's a good idea, but maybe I am wrong. I've just seen this stuff in the past not work with my sister. So I of course jump to the conclusion that it will not work with my niece. However back then all my sister had was a beeper. Cell phones weren't "in", and computers and internet weren't in everyone's household. So the only thing to "take away" were her friends. That made her sneak out and go party with them.. at 12, 13, 14.. So maybe since the phone and internet is so important to my niece, the results could be different when they are taken away and/or limited..... and earned. I sure hope so. As pathetic as it may sound- I am so scared that our efforts will make her spiral downward further and further. The issue is, my niece has no respect for my Mom- just like my sister never had, my sister hates my Mom. Literally. And any conversations she has had with her Mom in any recent months or year have I bet, been about my Mom, and my sister has brainwashed my niece into the same thinking because the things she says are EXACTLY what my sister says about my Mom. It's obvious we need to get her Mom out of her life no matter what. Even with no custody and a no contact order she finds a way, and I know my niece has at least made plans to sneak around to see her Mom. Whether it actually happened, I do not know. My mom is submitting an application for casting on the Super Nanny show. She must have submitted something online, and they called her to complete an application. That is how desperate she is. She knows the show may make her look like complete **** for ratings but she doesn't care. Gosh....... sorry I write so much! :sorrysmiley: [/QUOTE]
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