Truly rotten morning...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    ....actually the first in a long time but only because difficult child has been a slug. Seriously. The boy does nothing but go to school (when he's not suspended), sleep, watch TV or listen to his headphones. He does his chores with great protest only when prodded 50 eleventy times and bathes at his own discretion.

    Last Friday, school was cancelled due to the weather. I had checked the school calendar because I realized that I wasn't 100% sure when break started. They had yesterday (Monday) listed as a teacher work day and today (Tuesday) as the first day of break. Anyhoo, last night I had done some laundry. Towels were still in the dryer but I was going to put them away and throw my work clothes in to dry before I hopped in the shower. When I got up, I found the towels and my work clothes (dried.....somehow) piled on the kitchen floor and some of difficult child's clothes in the dryer. (makes me wonder when he got up and did all of this) Meanwhile, difficult child was in the shower. When I knocked on the door and asked what he was doing at that time of morning, I got a very snotty reply that he was getting ready for school. I told him that I had to get ready for work and he needed to get out. NOW. When he came out, I reminded him that he didn't have school and also there was no reason to throw the clean stuff on the floor. Again with the snotty and superior tone.... I DIDN'T throw them on the floor. I put them on the kitchen chair and they fell off. (ok fine.....ever hear of bending over and picking them up????) Then he proceeds to do everything but flat out call me stupid because he DOES have school this morning. Since they didn't have school on Friday, they have to make it up today. (um.....huh???) He was just horrible, rotten and miserable to both myself and husband. He even had the gall to yell at husband for using his deodorant without permission. Funny since that's the reason husband was out in the first place.....difficult child is constantly using our stuff without asking. The first time someone does it to him though, he explodes.

    Fine. Whatever.

    I get in the shower, get ready and by the time I was done, difficult child was gone. I had started my car and was waiting on it to warm up when difficult child came back. Imaging that. Mom actually knew what she was talking about.

    When I got home today I did get an apology but honestly, I didn't care and basically told him so. I said that he had absolutely no reason to act that way and has been doing it for so long that I've had it. I also told him that when it comes to using things without permission, he either needs to put up or shut up. He does it to us all the time without a second thought and is a lot of times the reason why husband has to use his stuff.

    This boy so needs to get a job/life/insert noun of choice. I'm sick of finding him sleeping in various spots around the house because he didn't want to sleep in his room. I'm sick of him lying around thinking he can do (or not do) whatever he wants and talk to us any way he pleases. The really frustrating part is that there really isn't any disciplinary action we can take. He doesn't have anything we can take away, grounding only works when he actually leaves the house, he doesn't have his license, etc. Making him do chores is a joke because IF he does it, you literally have to stand over him the entire time and things are done in a half :censored2: manner. (don't ever eat at my house if difficult child has done the dishes. Unless you've built up a tolerance, you're liable to get food poisoning)

    husband just wants to get him through high school which is fine. It's after that that I wonder what we'll do. There's no way difficult child would participate in any type of group home/training setting and basically refuses to do anything to help himself.

  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    This sounds like difficult child 1 was...I literally had a calendar on my wall, much like an advent calendar, that counted down the days til he left for boot camp.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Argh! What a way to start your day! Hugs.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What a lousy way to start the day. Hope the rest of vacation runs more smoothly for you.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. Maybe at 18 your husband should drop him off at the recruiter? Or maybe, just maybe, my mother's approach would work. As long as we were IN SCHOOL, full time, we could live at home. IF we were not in school, we had to have at least 1 full time employment. IF that had no future, and gfgbro refused to do school, he had to go out and live on what he earned. He had 30 days to get his stuff together. Mom and Dad would contribute some household stuff, but no deposits, etc...

    Want to just work a $5 hour job, go live on it. That was her exact phrasing.

    I heard it when I was IN COLLEGE full time and working as a delivery driver. A driver from another restaurant had been killed the week before and mom wanted me to quit taking deliveries or quit if they wouldnt' put me in another positition.

    It worked with us.

    I sincerely hope your Xmas Eve am and Xmas am are 1 MILLION times better!!!
  6. sweetjj

    sweetjj New Member

    OMG!!! I had to copy and paste that to my husband. I told him...."I think she wrote this about R" That sounds just like him!! I hope vacation & the holidays go smooth for you. Hang in there :) Merry Christmas!

  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Ah, the male version of my child. Ain't it fun??? Guess I should duck now, eh?

    I'm with susie -- as long as she was in school, she could stay. The second she was out of school she only stayed if she paid rent and did her share of chores. She paid the rent but didn't do the chores. She found the door. Now, she's coming back it truly isn't her fault and that's the only reason I'm allowing her to come back.

    Good luck and major hugs!!!
  8. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm so on the fence about him. Yes, he's in school and SAYS he'll graduate this time. But.....we all know that when difficult child's say they'll do something, it's 50-50 whether it actually happens.

    Graduation or not, come this summer, changes need to be made. I can't live like this any longer. I would love to kick him out but....I'm not sure he actually knows anything about finding services. We've tried to teach him and so have others who have worked with him. Who knows if he's actually absorbed anything. Also, if he's not in school, he loses his insurance. No insurance means of course no medications and without his medications.....I don't know what he would do.

    I'm just tired of living like this. The strees, the hiding (protecting) of my possessions, food.....the attitude, disrespect, etc. Even this morning, he got a tin of cashews out of husband's stocking and opened them and ate some. Not a big deal but it's the whole point. He never asked and if he had, he could have had some. It was just that whole entitlement thing and really irked me.

    He won't cooperate with programs and won't do anything to help himself.