Trust?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Liahona, Sep 22, 2011.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Hi, most of you know that difficult child 1 is having problems. He has been put on a very high level of supervision at home. He has to be in my sight at all times because he has tried to hurt easy child 1.

    For me this is like having a bouncing ball chained to me. It is very hard to function.

    How can I ever trust him enough to not have this level of supervision? Before the incident, at least in front of me, there weren't signs that he was getting to the level of aggression where he would pick up a piano bench and try to hit his sister with it. I can not let that aggression happen again. I also can not realistically keep up this level of supervision for the next 7 years. And, I don't see how I can know that he won't hurt the other kids again. If he is hurting them while I think he is being good then just his good behavior will not tell me that he is safe.

    His behavior is good enough in front of others that I don't think an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would keep him. I can't send him anywhere else to live. X would take me to court and get custody of him. Then X would kill him.

    How have you guys handled this?

    Right now I'm so glad he is going to school every day.
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Slow down. Take a deep breath. And another. And another.

    We've all been "there". As in... down in the pit because of the current level of issues. So we extrapolate. Its called "awfulizing".

    Recognize that for what it is.
    Then stop and remember the steps you are taking - right now - so that there can be answers.
    It will not last this way forever.
    Either you will start getting answers and things will begin to change, or things will get worse, and other options will be available. We all hope for the first one, at least. But either way, there is access to help coming... its just not here NOW. And of course, you need it NOW.

    {{hugs}}
     
  3. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Thank you. I really needed this.
     
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Our psychiatrist called it catastrophizing - and both Matt and I do it well. Thinking, thinking, thinking so far into the future that you do not even stay present, leading to huge anxiety. So like InsCd said, slow down, take one minute at a time, and know that you are doing everything you can to get cps involved and get difficult child the help he needs.

    What about some sort of therapeutic after school care? A lot of the pschy hospital have this. He has a psychiatrist and a counselor, right? They could testify about the degree of issues he is having to a phosph, get him admitted, and then transitioned to aftercare.
    What medications is he on again?
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Take it one day at a time. Today he needs close supervision. Tomorrow he may not.
     
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    He is not on any medications right now. He got taken off all of them at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They just don't work. No side effects even. Its like he's taking a placebo. (Maybe a placebo would even work better.) He has a psychiatrist appointment Oct. 4th. We're going to try medications again. I'm kinda desperate.

    I'll keep the after school program in mind.

    Thanks
     
  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    What medications did he try....there are so many now and so many different families....maybe you can do some research before you go in, aimed with some suggestions.
     
  8. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    my difficult child has gone through periods of needing constant supervision, although he is only 6, for the same reasons as yours. i understand how desperite you feel and you are right in needing to protect your other kids. i was so upset with him at one point i called CAS and told them to come get him after he attacked my then 18mo. i still don't allow him to be alone with my youngest child, so if one is upstairs playing the other can not be. medications have been the only thing that have been able to make a difference for us, and we are still trying to get those 'fine tuned'. i hope that you find something that works for you.. if it's any help our difficult child takes risperidone and it has cut down on the violent outburst by about 80%.
     
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