Trying Not To Over React

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by pasajes4, Oct 13, 2014.

  1. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I have not posted about 18 lately. Nothing had really changed. He is still in juvie prison and things were starting to smooth out for him. I was doing better about accepting that this was his journey not mine.

    I visited last weekend. I was alarmed at the amount of weight he has lost. He looked unhealthy and as if he was not feeling well at all. He is 18 so I have no input unless he allows it. I got him to agree to put in for a sick call and to allow the medical caseworker to speak to me.

    She called and they are running tests and will let me know what is going on. I am doing my best to not do my usual worst case scenario. I hate doing the waiting thing.
  2. GuideMe

    GuideMe Active Member

    I'm so sorry Pasajes. When does he come out of juvi for good?
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't fare well with the waiting thing either Pasa.

    Sending warm wishes for your peace of mind........for your son's health..........for your health and well being............

    Let us know what happens next.

    Prayers for you and your son.......
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Crossing all my fingers, toes and eyes, hoping for a good outcome.

    Could he be using drugs in juvie? My daughter looked like a skeleton when she used drugs and I was terrified she had AIDS. I kid you not.
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words of comfort. He was drug tested and that came up negative. He was tested for diabetes and that came up negative. The other test results have not come back and could take another week. They have him in medical as a precaution if it is infectious.
  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    All that can be done at this point is being done. Waiting is hard, but you are on top of it.

    How is he feeling?

    Is he eating?

    Is he being bullied?

    I am so sorry. I can't imagine a more vulnerable position.

    As Strength tells us, stay close to the site.

  7. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Sending strength.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    He has not been eating. He said that he did not have an appetite and that it made his stomach hurt to eat. I know that some of it is his depression, but something else is going on. I kind of suspect it might be mono.
  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    It could also be a stomach ulcer due to stress. I get them and almost have to force myself to eat.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  10. LoveSushi

    LoveSushi Member

    It could be anorexia? He is in a place where every single moment of his life is controls by someone else, perhaps he feels that his eating is the the only thing he can have control of. I have a dear friend who has a 19 soon who struggled with's truly not that rare in adolescent boys. Good luck and hugs-n-prayers to you all. I know how frustrating/scary it must be. :biting:
  11. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Pas, I am sorry. I hope whatever it is, they can identify it quickly and he can get treatment. At age 17, he is likely going to be fine in terms of long-term health. The odds are with him. I just wonder how much he is really eating. Of course, the food isn't very good in jail, but at least it's three meals a day.

    difficult child always goes into jail very skinny. Most of the time that is drug use. Then he fattens up in jail, because there are no drugs (usually) and at least three meals a day plus a bed to sleep in.

    Keep us posted Pas. Isn't it instructional that the more we know about difficult children, the harder it is. I have found that I like living in ignorance. Never, never, never I would have thought you would ever catch me saying something like that.

    I'm the info queen. I need the info, then I can deal with it. But today, I have learned a great deal about achieving peace, and those lessons include knowing less, instead of more, about the things I can't do anything about, and also the value of waiting, another thing I used to never be able to do, with anything. Patience. It is a wonderful blessing to learn about patience.

    Warm hugs. Please keep us posted about him. And about you.
  12. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I have thought about anorexia and an ulcer. I could make myself sick trying to diagnose him. I am accepting that I cannot do anything but wait. I force myself not to call medical more than once a day to check on him. I am grateful that he is in the infirmary and not the dorm.