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Trying to Clarify My Feelings....Opinions Welcome!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 359841" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>With the way difficult child acts toward you, I would refuse to take her to equine therapy. What she is getting out of this therapy is seeing you unable to be around the horses because she has a fit. She enjoys this therapy because she knows you are miserable because you are close to something you love and she keeps you from it. She is taking her enjoyment from keeping your nose pressed to the glass, watching her play in the candy store.</p><p></p><p>What would happen if you made attending this equine therapy contingent on her doing enough chores to earn the fee that you pay for this therapy? Chores she must do properly (to your standards, NOT to standards she decides) and must be done without any grumbling, static or grief. These chores would NOT count toward her weekly duties, those would have to be done before she could do chores to earn $$ to pay for equine anything.</p><p></p><p>I am willing to bet that she will NOT want ANYTHING to do with horses if it is on HER dime. I would explain to the therapist that if this is really that good for her, and she loves it that much, then surely she would be willing to work for it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>by the way: I went with-o allowance for two YEARS to pay for my riding lessons. I got $4 a week in allowance and had to pay for half the cost of my lessons. I went every two weeks to ride and my half was $8. I did not get ice cream bars at school, go to the local soft serve place or candy store. Once in a while my parents would let me have the change if I went to the local meat market to get something for dinner and I could get candy then. I did not buy lipgloss or other makeup, books, magazines, toys, music, ANYTHING. I wanted to ride THAT MUCH.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter wants to ride, loves horses as much as she is claiming, she WILL do the chores, do them right, and do them cheerfully or at least with-o giving you grief. </p><p></p><p>I have a friend here with 10 kids. They all have horses and live on a cattle ranch. they ALL do major chores and only have the horses so they can help move the cattle or ride fences to see if they need to be fixed. yes, they all compete at horse shows, but they earn the $$ that costs with doing chores above their normal and/or with part time jobs off the ranch. NONE of them, not even the now 3rd grader, just gets a horse and only has to take care of it. The youngest child helps with all kinds of things. I cannot fathom any of them trying to tell their mom that she cannot do anything or getting rewards for having a fit. </p><p></p><p>I hope you are making appts with other tdocs. You really NEED to have one with a clue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 359841, member: 1233"] With the way difficult child acts toward you, I would refuse to take her to equine therapy. What she is getting out of this therapy is seeing you unable to be around the horses because she has a fit. She enjoys this therapy because she knows you are miserable because you are close to something you love and she keeps you from it. She is taking her enjoyment from keeping your nose pressed to the glass, watching her play in the candy store. What would happen if you made attending this equine therapy contingent on her doing enough chores to earn the fee that you pay for this therapy? Chores she must do properly (to your standards, NOT to standards she decides) and must be done without any grumbling, static or grief. These chores would NOT count toward her weekly duties, those would have to be done before she could do chores to earn $$ to pay for equine anything. I am willing to bet that she will NOT want ANYTHING to do with horses if it is on HER dime. I would explain to the therapist that if this is really that good for her, and she loves it that much, then surely she would be willing to work for it. by the way: I went with-o allowance for two YEARS to pay for my riding lessons. I got $4 a week in allowance and had to pay for half the cost of my lessons. I went every two weeks to ride and my half was $8. I did not get ice cream bars at school, go to the local soft serve place or candy store. Once in a while my parents would let me have the change if I went to the local meat market to get something for dinner and I could get candy then. I did not buy lipgloss or other makeup, books, magazines, toys, music, ANYTHING. I wanted to ride THAT MUCH. If your daughter wants to ride, loves horses as much as she is claiming, she WILL do the chores, do them right, and do them cheerfully or at least with-o giving you grief. I have a friend here with 10 kids. They all have horses and live on a cattle ranch. they ALL do major chores and only have the horses so they can help move the cattle or ride fences to see if they need to be fixed. yes, they all compete at horse shows, but they earn the $$ that costs with doing chores above their normal and/or with part time jobs off the ranch. NONE of them, not even the now 3rd grader, just gets a horse and only has to take care of it. The youngest child helps with all kinds of things. I cannot fathom any of them trying to tell their mom that she cannot do anything or getting rewards for having a fit. I hope you are making appts with other tdocs. You really NEED to have one with a clue. [/QUOTE]
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