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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 638866" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>There is a 30 day eviction law in my state too. You don't need a lease and it covers your kids too, a 30 day eviction for everyone, no matter who it is.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have to be in this position Greenstockings. It's so difficult for us. It may be prudent, as long as you feel safe in your home with him of course, for you to figure out what it is exactly that you are willing to do and willing to deal with and exactly what you are not. To be very clear about what your boundaries are. He has to make contributions to the household, he has to work, he has to take his medications, he has to be respectful, he has to go to the Dr. etc.........<u><em>your house, your rules, end of story. </em></u></p><p></p><p>At 23 he is a man, an adult, not a 14 year old boy who gets to bum out and have a temper tantrum because he got caught. If he cannot abide by the rules you set forth, which he should agree to without incident, then perhaps, if it feels right to you, get that 30 day eviction notice going. Find out a list of the local shelters and give it to him. </p><p></p><p>Even if you change your mind, you will have gotten the necessary information and started the process, given him his 'contract' of what he has to do to stay and made your boundaries crystal clear. You can show him the eviction paperwork so he gets the reality and ask him to begin getting boxes to store his stuff while he's in the shelter. Maybe, that will awaken him enough to get with the program. If not, you can go through the 30 days and see how you feel at the end of it. If you just can't stand to put him out in the cold, well, you can decide then what to do next. You can always change your mind, there are no right answers here, we can only do what feels right to us. However, starting the whole process may change his attitude when he realizes you are serious. Our kids usually believe we would just never do anything like that. It will also give you time to make your boundaries strong and unbreakable. Don't let your son hold you hostage in your own home. It is your home, claim it.</p><p></p><p>This stuff is so hard on us Greenstockings. Think about your own needs. Take care of you and the rest of your family. Your son is acting badly. In real life there are consequences to acting badly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 638866, member: 13542"] There is a 30 day eviction law in my state too. You don't need a lease and it covers your kids too, a 30 day eviction for everyone, no matter who it is. I'm sorry you have to be in this position Greenstockings. It's so difficult for us. It may be prudent, as long as you feel safe in your home with him of course, for you to figure out what it is exactly that you are willing to do and willing to deal with and exactly what you are not. To be very clear about what your boundaries are. He has to make contributions to the household, he has to work, he has to take his medications, he has to be respectful, he has to go to the Dr. etc.........[U][I]your house, your rules, end of story. [/I][/U] At 23 he is a man, an adult, not a 14 year old boy who gets to bum out and have a temper tantrum because he got caught. If he cannot abide by the rules you set forth, which he should agree to without incident, then perhaps, if it feels right to you, get that 30 day eviction notice going. Find out a list of the local shelters and give it to him. Even if you change your mind, you will have gotten the necessary information and started the process, given him his 'contract' of what he has to do to stay and made your boundaries crystal clear. You can show him the eviction paperwork so he gets the reality and ask him to begin getting boxes to store his stuff while he's in the shelter. Maybe, that will awaken him enough to get with the program. If not, you can go through the 30 days and see how you feel at the end of it. If you just can't stand to put him out in the cold, well, you can decide then what to do next. You can always change your mind, there are no right answers here, we can only do what feels right to us. However, starting the whole process may change his attitude when he realizes you are serious. Our kids usually believe we would just never do anything like that. It will also give you time to make your boundaries strong and unbreakable. Don't let your son hold you hostage in your own home. It is your home, claim it. This stuff is so hard on us Greenstockings. Think about your own needs. Take care of you and the rest of your family. Your son is acting badly. In real life there are consequences to acting badly. [/QUOTE]
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