Trying to find the energy, strength, etc....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    to head down to southeastern Wisconsin to attend my brother's wedding in a couple of weeks.

    I'm fearful of the airport - the level of activity is confusing to me. I don't want to get lost or miss my flight. husband would have to drop me off at the airport & head off to work that day.

    Most of all, I can't seem to find the energy & enthusiasm to find a new dress that will match my cane. A pair of dress shoes to go with the friggin scarves I wear to cover the bare patches of scalp I have on my head. I can't find makeup to cover the scars on my face from the shingles so people won't stare; especially children.

    It's official - I'm afraid to go out in public; in places that are loud & confusing. I want to hide my face - my body.

    I'm scared to go & visit my family. :crying:
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Linda, can someone go with you? Would your Dad or one of your siblings be willing to come up and make the trip with you?

    Heck, airports are confusing even under the best of situations; I can only imagine how daunting they would be for someone who has been as ill as you.

    Have you contacted the airlines to see if they offer some kind of support? You aren't quite... :bag: "unaccompanied minor" but I've certainly seen airport personnel helping others with gate changes, etc.

    As for shopping, how about online? Do you have a favorite store where you know you fit their sizes?

    I wish I lived closer. I'd take you shopping and make the trip with you.

  3. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    I suspect that you are being more critical of yourself than anyone else would ever be. I suspect they will see the Linda they love and adore.

    Airports are hard to navigate. I hate flying alone.

    However - The airlines are very helpful if you call ahead and explain your special circumstances. They will bring skycaps to move you around the terminal ... allow early boarding, etc. I would call and see if they would accommodate you.
  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sending you gentle hugs. I o wish I were close enough. I would have no problem helping you.

    You've come through a lot this year. I am trying to summon all spare strength I have to help you with this. Because you can do it. I obviously don't know what you look like but when I imagine the person that writes what you do I just see a very strong woman that persaveres.


    PS if anyone gives you crap remember that cane can be used to adjust someones attitude nicely.
  5. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    definately call the airline. They will have someone take you from point A to point B, let you board first, etc.
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I feel so sorry for you!

    The airline will make arrangements for you. Call and let them know that you are disabled and they'll even escort you through the security areas. I know you've seen those "people carts" whipping around the airport...they'll arrange for one of those for uncle had gout and they ran him around like he was a 1st class passenger. AND you usually get boarded first and de-planed first. :bravo:

    The Dress: don't make yourself crazy. You have a couple of weeks: shop on-line and find styles on sites that have stores nearby. Then call the store, have them set aside the styles in your size, the next size up and the next size down. :geek: THEN go shopping. This way you don't have to exhaust yourself looking all over the place.

    As far as make-up goes: check into "Dermablend". Check out:
    it allows you to review different products and techniques.

    Shoes: black matches everything, brown is great if you're going to be wearing fall colors. I like taupe: it goes with everything!

    You know: as far as being scared to go see your family...they love you. Plain simple and to the point. Several months ago, they might have been making plans to come up for a funeral rather than you going down for a wedding. Hold your head up high - and don't sprain your ankles dancing! :its_all_good:

    Big Hugs!

  7. blb

    blb New Member

    How about a family member meeting up with you first and then taking the trip with you? Not sure how far away they are or if it would be cost-prohibitive, but could that be a possibility?

    If not, I would call the airport because at your present time, you could avail yourself of handicapped services.

    I'm sorry it's so hard right now :frown:
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda...the others have had great ideas about the dressing and the make up.

    The airlines will accommodate you. I have flown since I became disabled and all I did was tell them that I had disabilities and they were quite nice about it. They met me at the front door and took over.

    If you have any dietary needs just call them ahead of time too.
  9. blb

    blb New Member


    There is a product called Lycogel from Dermatia that is used for folks with severe acne and also for burn victims, it really covers and doesn't look clownish
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I suspect the thoughts of doing all these things to get ready is just overwhelming.

    Don't you have something you can wear? A pant suit? This is not going to be about fashion - it will be all about comfort. That is how you will enjoy this trip/visit/event. Comfort.

    I think the actual trip will be less overwhelming than you are imagining. It will be different, that is for sure. But, you can do it. Just do not pressure yourself too much.

    I am guessing if it was not a family member you would have already declined. So, this is not about doing it the best you can. It is just about doing it. Being there so you do not disappoint your brother. That is it. It does not have to be done with high expectations. Just do it. The comfort way.
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry the stress is mounting. All the suggestions sound
    great but perhaps there is one more thing you could do. I don't
    recall if you are financially comfortable but if you have access
    to a few extra dollars perhaps you could (1) contact one of the
    caregivers that you know from previous contact and ask them if
    they would be willing to help. (2) call a temp agency and ask the
    manager if thre is someone who could be hired to run errands and
    counted on to stay at your side until you are boarded...and be
    there to meet you when you arrive. (3) call a local college or
    high school and see if they have a dependable young woman who
    could supplement your efforts. (4) hire a CNA or HHC worker to
    be your aide.

    You just need a friend companion to help you over this hump. If
    it possible to reach out, please do. Most females love to shop
    (I hate it!) so you could deploy the helper to shop too. If you
    could afford it, you could hire a companion for the duration and
    let them stay in a motel while you are doing your famiy thing.

    You can do it! I know it may seem too daunting but you are one
    smart, tough woman. You'll feel better after you take steps to
    solve the problem. Hugs. DDD
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Just thought of something else :smile: could you take the train with a companion OR just hire a driver to drive you there.
    That way you wouldn't have to worry about a crowd. DDD
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hugs, Linda

    This needs to be about comfort, I agree.

    I wish I lived close enough to help.


  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way... I have to say I get overwhelmed also, and I am healthy. My anxiety kicks in prior to travel and it is too much!!! I can't imagine doing what you are!?!? But you can, one step at a time, it isn't a huge mountain, but little hills.
    Organize each task, and don't think about the next one. One day look for a dress, don't let it build up or it will become too much.
    What about a wig!!! If it really bothers you that much? I know they are expensive but if it gives you calm and peace of mind, or cute hat? to go with the cute dress or pants suit??? Very lady like and proper... Nice scarf?

    I really wish we could help you, I hate suffering through anxiety building situations like this...
  15. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    The others have already given you great advice. I just want you to know that you are a very strong and wise woman. I always learn something from reading your posts or responses to others.

    I know this is scary for you. I can't imagine it not being scary. However, in the nine months I've been coming here, I've seen how strong you really are. I know you can do this!!!

    You are fortunate to have a close and loving family. I know they will greatly appreciate the effort and courage it will take for you to be with them. This is the greatest gift you can give your brother on one of the most important days of his life.

    As you make the trip, we'll all be sending positive thoughts your way... Please find someone to help you shop and travel with you if possible, as the others have suggested. You shouldn't have to do this alone!!!

    If I could, I truly would go with you!!! For now, just sending cyber hugs and two more cyber shoulders to lean on... WFEN
  16. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    After everything else you've endured, yet one more thing to overcome just seems daunting.

    I don't have anything to add to the other's, but wanted to let you know that you have my shoulder for support.
  17. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    You said it yourself......this is your FAMILY!! They just want to see you no matter what....remember, no matter what. You go with your head held high and don't give a flip about what you wear. Your heart is big enough to cover you anyway.
  18. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Sweetie,
    No new advice-just sending hugs your way-I know you can do this using some of the ideas given. by the way, are you flying to Madison or Milwaukee? If it's Madison and I'm in town I could help. Let me know.
  19. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thank you for all the ideas - mostly I appreciate all the support. I've said very often here that after the Tweedles nothing scares me. I believe I spoke too soon. :slap:

    However, I spoke with my father, older brother & older sister yesterday - they will meet me at the airport. husband will get me to the airport at this end & make sure that I've made it through security & that I have help to the gate after security. :thumbsup:

    The airport, more specifically, the airline can & will help. I guess all I need to worry about is the time for the bloody mary I always order before I get on a plane (you know that a bloody mary keeps a plane from falling down, don't you? :crazy2: ).

    I'm scoping out dresses &/or nice pant suits with a nice hat or scarf. I'm going to check one out on Monday morning after physical therapy. I have a friend (yup, one left in my area) who's willing to take me out next Saturday. My mom always used Clinique - she had a pretty impressive scar from melanoma surgery. I'm going to head to that counter & see if a makeup person can help me.

    After that, I can do this - I know I can do this. I can't believe what a wuss I was/am being. I guess I've just been experiencing too many emotions lately.

    Thanks again - I can do this! :flower:
  20. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: timer lady</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
    all I need to worry about is the time for the bloody mary I always order before I get on a plane (you know that a bloody mary keeps a plane from falling down, don't you? :crazy2: ).


    I love that :smile:

    My sister and I, who has now discovered she has a drinking problem, so I guess this will be a problem now, have always ordered a glass of wine at the airport while waiting for our flight, and then one more when the plane takes off. And guess what, my plane never fell out of the sky :smile:

    You can do this and you will be so proud of yourself once you have.

    My sister in law wants me to come to Florida and see them in March, no matter whether h and I are together or not. I started freaking about about the thought of getting on a plane by myself and then I thought, what am I freaking out about. If my sister was going I wouldn't be able to have my wine now, so that actually solves my problem. I'm going alone and nobody can tell me what to do!!!!!