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Trying to help 13 yr old son with- ADHD/Bipolar/ Anger
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 474008" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Oh my, my son has a twin! Yes...I get this. Different interests, same behaviors (I always have said God kept my kid little so I could hold him and not get as hurt, but you know those little suckers can be strong when in a rage). While specifics are different, the intensity is the same (my son loves baths and showers and will do too much, he doesn't run away except in this last crisis he did go in our complex woods, to hide) My son is pretty cognitively delayed so maybe a little easier to negotiate with but he panics and fights over any time he feels a consequence will happen. Once he has made a mistake that will require a consequence he goes into fight or flight. I have had to learn to always give him some kind of an out that still applies a consequence but gives him hope. The book "the Explosive Child" helps tremendiously. I have the therapy book for psychologists and therapists that goes with it. That is not even as good but it is nice to have. If you dont have it, this book is great (by Ross Green)</p><p></p><p> I realize we can't see your difficult child, so this is not a professional opinion or diagnosis or anything but what you say just smacks of what happens to thousands of Asperger's kids (Aspies). In fact my neighbor has a son who was diagnosis bipolar/adhd and medicated and it made him out of control. Of course, none of the right interventions for a child on the spectrum were being done! In tenth grade he was finally diagnosed. He is now off all medications, in the military and rising in the ranks! He is stellar! One of my students was being treated for adhd/anxiety and in gym class he shoved a girl because she hit him with a ball (as you were supposed to, but he didn't get that...thought she was picking on him) teacher grabbed him and threatened to hit him too so he could feel what it was like. I found him under my desk (I was his case manager). I was working with a jerk of a psychologist and she refused to see the Aspie side of him. I just went behind school's back and told mom to have him assessed. He was diagnosis THAT week. Now he is in gifted/talented classes and only on the adhd medications which do help him with impulse control. Accomodations and behaivoral relaxation and break skills help him deal with any anxiety. social skill training has helped him navigate tricky areas and he gets to avoid things that are just not his interest, why should he have to do gym like that when it will never be a part of his life and causes so much disruption... I am just telling you these stories because IF that is what is going on it is truly hopeful. Having one or two people in your corner to help advocate and stand up for what you are saying really helps to so if you can find anyone to help you thru this it would be super. </p><p></p><p>You are on the right track. I have said here that I know the right things at times but having people here support that gives me the boost to push ahead and really do it. It can be intimidating facing those docs and telling them you dont agree and things need to be done over. It seems you feel strongly your kid is on too many medications, it hits all the warriors here that way too. We do tend to be the best when it comes to our kids, they dont see them in real life. We just have to pull that assertive side out and do what we need to do. The first time I fired a doctor was when our neuro took a break to care for her difficult child. The new doctor was from England, thougth my kid was on wrong medications, wanted to know when he would have surgery (he had it two years prior to seeing her, duh) and she said I am the doctor and I will make the decisions. I said (thru tears I admit) well I dont work with anyone who is not a team player. I went to front of the desk said in a not so quiet voice that she was horrible. Our pediatrician took over till favorite doctor came back two years later. (by the way she was fired) Please come here for a pep talk and we will boost you so you can do this if it is what you decide. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 474008, member: 12886"] Oh my, my son has a twin! Yes...I get this. Different interests, same behaviors (I always have said God kept my kid little so I could hold him and not get as hurt, but you know those little suckers can be strong when in a rage). While specifics are different, the intensity is the same (my son loves baths and showers and will do too much, he doesn't run away except in this last crisis he did go in our complex woods, to hide) My son is pretty cognitively delayed so maybe a little easier to negotiate with but he panics and fights over any time he feels a consequence will happen. Once he has made a mistake that will require a consequence he goes into fight or flight. I have had to learn to always give him some kind of an out that still applies a consequence but gives him hope. The book "the Explosive Child" helps tremendiously. I have the therapy book for psychologists and therapists that goes with it. That is not even as good but it is nice to have. If you dont have it, this book is great (by Ross Green) I realize we can't see your difficult child, so this is not a professional opinion or diagnosis or anything but what you say just smacks of what happens to thousands of Asperger's kids (Aspies). In fact my neighbor has a son who was diagnosis bipolar/adhd and medicated and it made him out of control. Of course, none of the right interventions for a child on the spectrum were being done! In tenth grade he was finally diagnosed. He is now off all medications, in the military and rising in the ranks! He is stellar! One of my students was being treated for adhd/anxiety and in gym class he shoved a girl because she hit him with a ball (as you were supposed to, but he didn't get that...thought she was picking on him) teacher grabbed him and threatened to hit him too so he could feel what it was like. I found him under my desk (I was his case manager). I was working with a jerk of a psychologist and she refused to see the Aspie side of him. I just went behind school's back and told mom to have him assessed. He was diagnosis THAT week. Now he is in gifted/talented classes and only on the adhd medications which do help him with impulse control. Accomodations and behaivoral relaxation and break skills help him deal with any anxiety. social skill training has helped him navigate tricky areas and he gets to avoid things that are just not his interest, why should he have to do gym like that when it will never be a part of his life and causes so much disruption... I am just telling you these stories because IF that is what is going on it is truly hopeful. Having one or two people in your corner to help advocate and stand up for what you are saying really helps to so if you can find anyone to help you thru this it would be super. You are on the right track. I have said here that I know the right things at times but having people here support that gives me the boost to push ahead and really do it. It can be intimidating facing those docs and telling them you dont agree and things need to be done over. It seems you feel strongly your kid is on too many medications, it hits all the warriors here that way too. We do tend to be the best when it comes to our kids, they dont see them in real life. We just have to pull that assertive side out and do what we need to do. The first time I fired a doctor was when our neuro took a break to care for her difficult child. The new doctor was from England, thougth my kid was on wrong medications, wanted to know when he would have surgery (he had it two years prior to seeing her, duh) and she said I am the doctor and I will make the decisions. I said (thru tears I admit) well I dont work with anyone who is not a team player. I went to front of the desk said in a not so quiet voice that she was horrible. Our pediatrician took over till favorite doctor came back two years later. (by the way she was fired) Please come here for a pep talk and we will boost you so you can do this if it is what you decide. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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