Trying to help

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mrscatinthehat, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I talked about a friend of mine and a couple of her kids being removed from her home. Well she has an appointment for one of them at the large hospital in the state. I was supposed to go with her when she had the appointment for him. She had asked me because in her words "You know the questions to ask." I figured that was something I could easily do. I do know the questions to ask. Problem is now the social services folks just want her and her ex to take their son to the appointment. She tried to explain to them that she had things lined up etc to get the answers they needed or at least the search for them. They said that it should be done this way instead. I accept that no biggie. The problem is neither one of them is prepared to ask the questions. She talked to me last night asking me what she should do. I again reiterated get an attorney. First thing Monday it has to be a priority. She now will qualify for a court appointed one.

    The other thing she wanted was a list of questions to ask. That is more difficult than I thought. I know what to ask just because I knwo when I am in the situation. My brain seems to have dried up. I am printing her a copy of the parent report on the FAQ page. I will get that to her right away. But now I am trying to rack my brain for the questions to ask the neuro doctor. I have to clarify with her which kind to know which question to ask. I figure sharing my knowledge is something I can do. I feel bad that they are being so difficult.

    In some ways it seems like she should be able to have whomever she wants as an advocate but on the flipside of that am I prepared to take on all of that responsibility. That and am I prepared to walk back into the fires of the social services people. Not real sure if I am.

    The thing is even though I dont' think highly of her ex I get along fine with him and I could probably even be a calming factor in the whole situation.

    She also told me she is kind of afraid to be in a vehicle with just her ex and son. I can somewhat see that. She has no way to do this trip without being in the same vehicle as she doesn't actually have one that would make the trip. That is one of the other reasons I was taking them. She had offered to pay for the gas if I drove them.

    Why can't I just let this go? Probably because I just hate seeing people get hosed. And they are setting her up huge to get bowled over. She just doesn't have what it takes to stand up for what needs to happen. Ugh ugh ugh.

    Sorry for the vent. Just frustrating. The amazing thing when I walked in her house yesterday was the first time I have seen her living room floor in a very long time. I know she is making efforts I just don't know that they will work with her without being very difficult with it all.