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Parent Emeritus
trying to maintain toughlove
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 261084" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Susan, do you remember the first time your son decided that he was going to get some thing that sat on the coffee table just out of reach? He was about a year old, give or take, and had just learned to pull himself up to a standing position. He held on and cruised alongside the coffee table, and it was such hard work for him! He was huffing and puffing and there was a gleam in his eye, because he knew what he wanted and had figured out how to get it for himself. You knew you could just reach over and get it and hand it to him, but you didn't do that because you wanted him to learn to walk and to do things for himself. Sure enough, with hard work and a couple of bumps and bruises, he eventually got that thing. Soon enough he didn't even have to hold on to the table anymore.</p><p></p><p>It won't kill him to have wet shoes. Maybe it will inspire him to decide that he wants to have a stable life with a roof over his head that he won't get booted from. It's within his reach if he will just decide that it's what he really wants and people let him get it for himself. Be grateful that his shoes are wet and he's miserable with the mess he's found himself in. Don't give him money or a place to stay for even one minute, let alone one night. Let <em>him</em> figure out how to keep his shoes dry and have a roof over his head. Unless you <em>want</em> to be that 70 year old woman living alone but for her 55 year old loser son who won't get out of her house and steals her jewelry to hock for drugs.</p><p></p><p>Set yourself free.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 261084, member: 99"] Susan, do you remember the first time your son decided that he was going to get some thing that sat on the coffee table just out of reach? He was about a year old, give or take, and had just learned to pull himself up to a standing position. He held on and cruised alongside the coffee table, and it was such hard work for him! He was huffing and puffing and there was a gleam in his eye, because he knew what he wanted and had figured out how to get it for himself. You knew you could just reach over and get it and hand it to him, but you didn't do that because you wanted him to learn to walk and to do things for himself. Sure enough, with hard work and a couple of bumps and bruises, he eventually got that thing. Soon enough he didn't even have to hold on to the table anymore. It won't kill him to have wet shoes. Maybe it will inspire him to decide that he wants to have a stable life with a roof over his head that he won't get booted from. It's within his reach if he will just decide that it's what he really wants and people let him get it for himself. Be grateful that his shoes are wet and he's miserable with the mess he's found himself in. Don't give him money or a place to stay for even one minute, let alone one night. Let [I]him[/I] figure out how to keep his shoes dry and have a roof over his head. Unless you [I]want[/I] to be that 70 year old woman living alone but for her 55 year old loser son who won't get out of her house and steals her jewelry to hock for drugs. Set yourself free. [/QUOTE]
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