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Parent Emeritus
trying to maintain toughlove
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 261185" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>I am going to jump in and send strength to you too Stands. You are completely on the right track. Just keep talking to yourself with the healthy verbiage, whenever you feel like your mind is taking a detour.</p><p></p><p>I have a really hard time not feeling my sons feelings. It seems like I got an overdose on the momma bear hormones. Last night my son called me, crying, because his dad had just called him and was stoned out of his mind. He said all sorts of crazy things to Matt, and made him think I was in danger. The group home only allows one call a night - but he convinced the staff to let them call me.</p><p></p><p>It just broke my heart to hear him so tormented and used by his dad. He has never had a good relationship with his dad, so he still sees his dad like a little kid would see their dad. Always wanting to please him. It sickens me.</p><p></p><p>I woke up this morning just feeling physically sick and sad for Matt and all the pain his father has caused him. And yet I want and need to be free from Matt's pain. His pain cannot continue to be my pain. I mentally cannot take it anymore.</p><p></p><p>In my move to Arizona - I have resolved that every step I make will be chosen to protect me from from toxic friends, relatives or people. And somehow I will learn to protect myself from feeling my sons pain on such a deep level. It is his father, his reality.</p><p></p><p>It is all so hard. Hugs and strength your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 261185, member: 3301"] I am going to jump in and send strength to you too Stands. You are completely on the right track. Just keep talking to yourself with the healthy verbiage, whenever you feel like your mind is taking a detour. I have a really hard time not feeling my sons feelings. It seems like I got an overdose on the momma bear hormones. Last night my son called me, crying, because his dad had just called him and was stoned out of his mind. He said all sorts of crazy things to Matt, and made him think I was in danger. The group home only allows one call a night - but he convinced the staff to let them call me. It just broke my heart to hear him so tormented and used by his dad. He has never had a good relationship with his dad, so he still sees his dad like a little kid would see their dad. Always wanting to please him. It sickens me. I woke up this morning just feeling physically sick and sad for Matt and all the pain his father has caused him. And yet I want and need to be free from Matt's pain. His pain cannot continue to be my pain. I mentally cannot take it anymore. In my move to Arizona - I have resolved that every step I make will be chosen to protect me from from toxic friends, relatives or people. And somehow I will learn to protect myself from feeling my sons pain on such a deep level. It is his father, his reality. It is all so hard. Hugs and strength your way. [/QUOTE]
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