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trying to maintain toughlove
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 262581" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Everyone has their own cross to bear, Susan. You're a grown woman and you're old enough to understand that you don't want to trade your troubles for someone else's. You're not ready for someone else's problems because you don't even know that they're there. The only way to be happy is to confront your<em> own</em> problems. You've only made the babiest of steps, it's way too early to start feeling sorry for yourself and cave in.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm abit confused. You made a decision about your own home and he broke the rules and <em>you</em> feel like<em> you </em>were hasty? Please go to the archives page and read the distorted thinking list. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I hope you understand that <em>he</em> doesn't feel badly about anything <em>he's</em> done. In fact, he <em>wants </em>you to feel badly because now you are on the edge of caving and giving him something he wants. Is this how your mother would want a man to treat you? Never mind he's your son, he's coming up on 30 years old and as much as you may think you need to mother him, <em>he</em> hasn't needed a <em>mom</em> in about ten years. You've been giving him the thing he <em>doesn't</em> need the most.</p><p></p><p>Think about it. What he wants is for you to feel bad. And you do. Then when you feel bad, that makes him feel good. It makes it very difficult to sympathize with you in these circumstances, so I won't coddle you. I think sympathizing with you would indicate that I think it's ok for you to be involved in a relationship with someone who's only desire for you is to make you feel bad so that he can get whatever he wants from you and anyone who cares for you. You're old enough to know better, Susan.</p><p></p><p>Stand strong. Set yourself free.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 262581, member: 99"] Everyone has their own cross to bear, Susan. You're a grown woman and you're old enough to understand that you don't want to trade your troubles for someone else's. You're not ready for someone else's problems because you don't even know that they're there. The only way to be happy is to confront your[I] own[/I] problems. You've only made the babiest of steps, it's way too early to start feeling sorry for yourself and cave in. I'm abit confused. You made a decision about your own home and he broke the rules and [I]you[/I] feel like[I] you [/I]were hasty? Please go to the archives page and read the distorted thinking list. I hope you understand that [I]he[/I] doesn't feel badly about anything [I]he's[/I] done. In fact, he [I]wants [/I]you to feel badly because now you are on the edge of caving and giving him something he wants. Is this how your mother would want a man to treat you? Never mind he's your son, he's coming up on 30 years old and as much as you may think you need to mother him, [I]he[/I] hasn't needed a [I]mom[/I] in about ten years. You've been giving him the thing he [I]doesn't[/I] need the most. Think about it. What he wants is for you to feel bad. And you do. Then when you feel bad, that makes him feel good. It makes it very difficult to sympathize with you in these circumstances, so I won't coddle you. I think sympathizing with you would indicate that I think it's ok for you to be involved in a relationship with someone who's only desire for you is to make you feel bad so that he can get whatever he wants from you and anyone who cares for you. You're old enough to know better, Susan. Stand strong. Set yourself free. [/QUOTE]
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