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Trying to reach out to estranged grown child?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 218065" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>My easy child son quickly married a local girl who was syrupy sweet and did "not" connect with any of us. There was no arguing etc. She just acted like an Aspie (something I didn't know about then) and therefore the funloving dynamic of our family was altered. Due to complicated circumstances she was able to bond easy child to her...and discouraged contact with any of us.</p><p> </p><p>After a year without contact from him I decided to write a letter from my heart in hopes that we could reconnect. His wife did not "like" the letter and three years passed with no contact. I honestly wanted to get violent with her as she had "taken" our kid away. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> THEN, darn it, I had to accept that he was bright, achieving, etc. etc. and HE should be the focus of my angst.</p><p> </p><p>Very very very slowly we have regained a connect. They came for TDay</p><p>this year and it was genuinely fun....there actually was laughter! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>Obviously I don't have "the answer" but very small unobtrusive bits of contact do sometimes lead to a form of reconciiation. I sent little gifts to the grandchildren, for example. This year the 6'1" easy child Grandson said to me</p><p>when we were briefly alone "I am so sorry that we don't get to spend more time with you....I love the time we share." I almost got teary. It</p><p>was more than I had hoped for. Hang in there. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 218065, member: 35"] My easy child son quickly married a local girl who was syrupy sweet and did "not" connect with any of us. There was no arguing etc. She just acted like an Aspie (something I didn't know about then) and therefore the funloving dynamic of our family was altered. Due to complicated circumstances she was able to bond easy child to her...and discouraged contact with any of us. After a year without contact from him I decided to write a letter from my heart in hopes that we could reconnect. His wife did not "like" the letter and three years passed with no contact. I honestly wanted to get violent with her as she had "taken" our kid away. :frowny: THEN, darn it, I had to accept that he was bright, achieving, etc. etc. and HE should be the focus of my angst. Very very very slowly we have regained a connect. They came for TDay this year and it was genuinely fun....there actually was laughter! :winking: Obviously I don't have "the answer" but very small unobtrusive bits of contact do sometimes lead to a form of reconciiation. I sent little gifts to the grandchildren, for example. This year the 6'1" easy child Grandson said to me when we were briefly alone "I am so sorry that we don't get to spend more time with you....I love the time we share." I almost got teary. It was more than I had hoped for. Hang in there. DDD [/QUOTE]
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