Mairrey, I am so sorry you are experiencing this with your daughter. Unfortunately, here your story is all too common. You've come to the right place, it helps to post our "stories"..........I'm glad you're here.
Since your daughter is 23 she is an adult and we have a separate forum here called Parent Emeritus where those of us who have adult kids with "issues" go for support. I suggest you cut and paste this post over there where you'll get more support.
Unfortunately, the likelihood of your daughter shifting out of her homeless self is highly unlikely. You will surely be blamed and she will continue that manipulation as long as it works. Our kids are massively resourceful and manipulative.
The best advice I can give you is to call the local shelters and drop them off there. You can not control her choices and you will go crazy trying to while she manipulates you and makes you feel guilty for the choices she herself is making. Don't fall for it. There is no reason in the world you have to have her living with you while they lie, steal, manipulate and essentially abuse your kindness. This will continue until you make it stop and how you do that is by telling them they have to leave TODAY and off to the shelter they go.
At any point your daughter could change, she is choosing this lifestyle, you aren't. You didn't cause this, you can't control it and you can't save her, only she can do that.
You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, it's helpful. And, since detachment is a very difficult experience for us parents, I would strongly suggest you get yourself as much support as you can, therapy, parent support groups, whatever you can find to help YOU learn how to detach and get your own life back. You might also try 12 step CoDa groups.
She will continue to be "stressed out" and in fact I imagine she will pull every trick out of her bag to stay in your home where she is essentially getting a free ride for her, her boyfriend and their 2 dogs. Get her out. You have your 13 year old to consider not to mention your own mental and emotional health, which will quickly go overboard if she continues to stay at your home.
I know this sounds harsh, but our adult kids can do remarkable damage to us before we even know what happened to us, so regardless of her assessment of your "meanness" you must override that and remove her from your home. She may get lost in the street scene but it is HER CHOICE not yours. You do not have to pay any price whatsoever for the bad choices your selfish, manipulative, disrespectful, ungrateful daughter makes. Sorry to be so direct, but sometimes others can see what we ourselves cannot see and it appears you are in a fog of enabling which is preventing you from seeing the truth. Only she can change her life. You are powerless to do so. Your guilt will keep you stuck and she is already using your guilt to keep her where she is. As long as you enable her this will stay the same.