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Parent Emeritus
Trying to stay on the detachment track, advice?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 85331" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>I think it is GOOD to be there for him while he's "changing". </p><p></p><p>Like antsmom I did walk out on my oldest difficult child once when he was locked up and threatening suicide, yelling, trying to get me to call his ex girlfriend etc. I told him..."It has to hurt this bad, you have to feel this pain so that you never EVER want to be here again" then I left with him banging on the glass. Cried all the way home. </p><p></p><p>I still accepted his calls, continued visits with him later, put money on his books etc. But I would not let him guilt me or throw a fit and me remain there. It was too hard on my "mommy heart" and I refused to be abused/used. I was also going to Al Anon and learning what belonged to him and what was not mine to accept/tolerate. </p><p></p><p>I think there is a happy medium. They know will always love them...that's not the issue. But, they do have to learn their lessons too. </p><p></p><p>Have you tried Al Anon for yourself? There's alot of wisdom and support there too. </p><p></p><p>hugs,</p><p>lovemysons</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 85331, member: 3305"] I think it is GOOD to be there for him while he's "changing". Like antsmom I did walk out on my oldest difficult child once when he was locked up and threatening suicide, yelling, trying to get me to call his ex girlfriend etc. I told him..."It has to hurt this bad, you have to feel this pain so that you never EVER want to be here again" then I left with him banging on the glass. Cried all the way home. I still accepted his calls, continued visits with him later, put money on his books etc. But I would not let him guilt me or throw a fit and me remain there. It was too hard on my "mommy heart" and I refused to be abused/used. I was also going to Al Anon and learning what belonged to him and what was not mine to accept/tolerate. I think there is a happy medium. They know will always love them...that's not the issue. But, they do have to learn their lessons too. Have you tried Al Anon for yourself? There's alot of wisdom and support there too. hugs, lovemysons [/QUOTE]
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Trying to stay on the detachment track, advice?
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