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Trying to understand my son
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 343750" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Hi bagels, I'm glad you found us. </p><p> </p><p>We are only parents here--not diagnosticians--so please keep that in mind as you read our responses. What your description reminded me of is a child who has a neurological underlying "something" going on, but who has had a great deal of instinctive, intensive parenting. Sometimes a child like this will receive the equivalent of early intervention/therapy resulting in the delay or elimination of really severe problems. Often what happens with these kids is that they are difficult and quirky when little, but function all right while spending a good deal of time at home or in a smaller daycare/school setting that is ideally suited to their needs. Later on it's common for there to be something that will trigger more serious problems--going to school, going from half day to full day, having a rigid teacher, getting older and not being able to keep up with social demands, moving to a new home, etc--and then things start to fall apart. </p><p> </p><p>The not interacting with peers would concern me. If I were in your shoes, and had already consulted the professionals in the area, I'd have him evaluated by the school district if you haven't already done so. A good early intervention preschool can be a very helpful for kids like yours because the focus isn't so much on the academic, but on social aspects and functioning in a school setting. Even kids who are very bright but struggle in the other realms can benefit. You would need to call your local public school district and ask for special services or special education department. Make a request for a complete evaluation, then follow up with a written request. The written request is important as it sets legal timelines into motion. </p><p> </p><p>There may be other social skills options available, but that is highly dependent on the area you live in. Social skills falls under the umbrella of speech services (it's called pragmatic speech) so check around for places that administer pediatric speech therapy--hospitals, universities, Easter Seals, private service providers. Usually they would do both individual therapy where they'd do things like role playing as well as social skills groups. I'm a firm believer in working on these skills both with a skilled professional as well as at home. </p><p> </p><p>There are some social skills things you can do at home. I've heard rave reviews about the Model Me Kids DVDS. <a href="http://modelmekids.com/" target="_blank">http://modelmekids.com/</a></p><p> </p><p>Also do a search on books for social skills and social stories. </p><p> </p><p>On the discipline end of things, I'd suggest backing off, especially if it's resulting in extended screaming or escalation. Whatever is going on, he clearly isn't ready to respond to traditional discipline so I'd be on the search for more effective strategies. Many of us have had good results with Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child. You'll find tips on how to adapt it to younger children at the top of this board. The overall strategy is designed to help the child and family function better until they're at a point where they can participate more in rational problem solving. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, if I were in your shoes, I'd continue to do my homework and borrow from whatever camp works. The diagnostician thinks he doesn't have Asperger's--fine, but use social skills strategies from the Asperger's camp for awhile and see if they help. He doesn't have a diagnosis of ODD, fine, but get a copy of the book I suggested and see if things improve for him. While doing your homework, you'll likely run into descriptions of other disorders (such as Nonverbal Learning Disability) and that will give you a chance to compare symptoms as well. </p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Another book recommedation: What Your Explosive Child Is Trying to Tell You: Discovering the Pathway from Symptoms to Solutions by Dr. Douglas Riley</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">If you have a child who shines during assessments, the video camera can be your best tool. Without his knowing, video him in the areas that you are concerned about to bring in to future assessments.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Hope this helps. SRL</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 343750, member: 701"] Hi bagels, I'm glad you found us. We are only parents here--not diagnosticians--so please keep that in mind as you read our responses. What your description reminded me of is a child who has a neurological underlying "something" going on, but who has had a great deal of instinctive, intensive parenting. Sometimes a child like this will receive the equivalent of early intervention/therapy resulting in the delay or elimination of really severe problems. Often what happens with these kids is that they are difficult and quirky when little, but function all right while spending a good deal of time at home or in a smaller daycare/school setting that is ideally suited to their needs. Later on it's common for there to be something that will trigger more serious problems--going to school, going from half day to full day, having a rigid teacher, getting older and not being able to keep up with social demands, moving to a new home, etc--and then things start to fall apart. The not interacting with peers would concern me. If I were in your shoes, and had already consulted the professionals in the area, I'd have him evaluated by the school district if you haven't already done so. A good early intervention preschool can be a very helpful for kids like yours because the focus isn't so much on the academic, but on social aspects and functioning in a school setting. Even kids who are very bright but struggle in the other realms can benefit. You would need to call your local public school district and ask for special services or special education department. Make a request for a complete evaluation, then follow up with a written request. The written request is important as it sets legal timelines into motion. There may be other social skills options available, but that is highly dependent on the area you live in. Social skills falls under the umbrella of speech services (it's called pragmatic speech) so check around for places that administer pediatric speech therapy--hospitals, universities, Easter Seals, private service providers. Usually they would do both individual therapy where they'd do things like role playing as well as social skills groups. I'm a firm believer in working on these skills both with a skilled professional as well as at home. There are some social skills things you can do at home. I've heard rave reviews about the Model Me Kids DVDS. [URL]http://modelmekids.com/[/URL] Also do a search on books for social skills and social stories. On the discipline end of things, I'd suggest backing off, especially if it's resulting in extended screaming or escalation. Whatever is going on, he clearly isn't ready to respond to traditional discipline so I'd be on the search for more effective strategies. Many of us have had good results with Ross Greene's book The Explosive Child. You'll find tips on how to adapt it to younger children at the top of this board. The overall strategy is designed to help the child and family function better until they're at a point where they can participate more in rational problem solving. Finally, if I were in your shoes, I'd continue to do my homework and borrow from whatever camp works. The diagnostician thinks he doesn't have Asperger's--fine, but use social skills strategies from the Asperger's camp for awhile and see if they help. He doesn't have a diagnosis of ODD, fine, but get a copy of the book I suggested and see if things improve for him. While doing your homework, you'll likely run into descriptions of other disorders (such as Nonverbal Learning Disability) and that will give you a chance to compare symptoms as well. [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Tahoma]Another book recommedation: What Your Explosive Child Is Trying to Tell You: Discovering the Pathway from Symptoms to Solutions by Dr. Douglas Riley[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Tahoma]If you have a child who shines during assessments, the video camera can be your best tool. Without his knowing, video him in the areas that you are concerned about to bring in to future assessments.[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Tahoma]Hope this helps. SRL[/FONT][/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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