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Trying to Understand
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 761886" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Hi Mother101,</p><p></p><p>I’m so sorry your daughter chooses to hurt you this way. I don’t know that I can give any advice you haven’t already tried to mend the relationship. But I would not give up as long as she is open to some communication, and it is not hurting your heart so much that you are having trouble coping. But I would definitely insist on being treated with decency.</p><p></p><p>If I may ask, what is your relationship with the grandchildren? Do you get to see them or does your daughter use them as pawns? Are they old enough to maintain a relationship with you on their own?</p><p></p><p>I had some thoughts about at least trying to maintain contact with them if you can, sending letters or cards, gifts, etc. If it were me, I would want to make sure my grandchildren knew who I was and that they were loved. After all, they are going to grow up someday and it’s possible they might want to know me. </p><p></p><p>But what I understand from being on this forum is that as punishment estranged children will do their best to keep the grandchildren estranged as well. </p><p></p><p>As others have said, please get support in whatever method works for you and be good to yourself. And as you are a praying person, continue to pray for the relationship to heal. I will pray too and will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts. Keep posting.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 761886, member: 23742"] Hi Mother101, I’m so sorry your daughter chooses to hurt you this way. I don’t know that I can give any advice you haven’t already tried to mend the relationship. But I would not give up as long as she is open to some communication, and it is not hurting your heart so much that you are having trouble coping. But I would definitely insist on being treated with decency. If I may ask, what is your relationship with the grandchildren? Do you get to see them or does your daughter use them as pawns? Are they old enough to maintain a relationship with you on their own? I had some thoughts about at least trying to maintain contact with them if you can, sending letters or cards, gifts, etc. If it were me, I would want to make sure my grandchildren knew who I was and that they were loved. After all, they are going to grow up someday and it’s possible they might want to know me. But what I understand from being on this forum is that as punishment estranged children will do their best to keep the grandchildren estranged as well. As others have said, please get support in whatever method works for you and be good to yourself. And as you are a praying person, continue to pray for the relationship to heal. I will pray too and will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts. Keep posting. Many hugs [/QUOTE]
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