trying very hard to stay calm

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Apr 2, 2013.

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  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Today is the first day back after Spring Break, and difficult child was awake and had a smoothie earlier, but wouldn't get out of bed and get ready. I am hoping against hope it goes well. Trying not to break into full panic attack.
     
  2. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, so much for a good first day. I checked on her at 7:40, and she was at her make up desk. I thought we were going to have a great first day of the last quarter. Just went up because we need to leave in 5 minutes and she is not dressed and doing homeowrk that could have been done all week last week. I really really hate my life. I am just ready to quit.
     
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, it is 7:10 and this is when we need to leave. Guess who is no where near ready to go. What do I do? She says we treat her like a child, the therapist says let her handle it, but look where that has gotten me. We are not even going to be on time for the first day back. I feel like I have the success of her fututre soley on my shoulders. And I am the ONLY one that seems to care about it.
     
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Our mornings aren't quite that bad, but we are just heading back to school to and I doubt that difficult child gets ready. I have to be at work by 7:20 so I HAVE to leave by 7:05. She has been on a rant lately about how we treat her like a baby so I said, you want to be treated like a young adult? Get out of bed and be ready in time or find your own way to school. Crossing my fingers too. Her mode of action is to spend the entire time picking out clothes, doing hair, applying makeup. When I am ready to go, then it is... I can't find my shoes! Or where's my book? Her "just one minute" can mean 15 more minutes! I have just got to stop stressing, easy to say, hard to do. KSM
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry it is such a difficult morning and that so many school mornings are.
     
  6. Corrie

    Corrie New Member

    I hear ya....mine is in the washroom now and should have been at school 10 min ago...frustrating
     
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    And this taking forever to get anything done in the morning thing is exactly why *my* alarm goes off two hours before she has to be on the bus.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry.
    The only thing that worked for difficult child here was to tell him that he'd lose his videogames (his love back then) and that if he stayed home sick, he had to stay in his room and in bed all day. IOW, we had to find something he cared about.
     
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm sorry. She can't see the forest for the trees.

    I hope you really can put the success of her future on her. Even if she fails it doesn't mean she can't find another way to get the credits out graduate. She may need that to happen. I'd hate for that to be the way it goes but what can you do? It really is on her.

    Now you have a hard decision to make about that give day program too..
     
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, we somehow made it to school on time!! Great! Then she couldn't/wouldn't get out of the car. So I sat there. I played on my phone, texted husband, talked to difficult child some to see what was going on in her head. (She couldn't go in because she didn't know where gym class would be-they move around based on what they are doing) and then she was/is worried because she didn't get enough work done over break. Basically said too bad. Should have done it. She then said "will you pick me up early? Told her I would see if I was busy or not. (I am going to be way too busy.) So frustrated. With her and with the school.
     
  11. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Was she marked late to school? Will she still get to go to the horse show she wants to go to?
     
  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I don't know Bunny. I am such a mess right now. I can't even get her to stay a full day.
     
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    do not answer your phone....in fact I think the batter is dead, right?
     
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Does she not know one other student she takes gym with that she could ask on a given day?
     
  15. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    HaoZi, it was spring break, and she isn't friends with anyone in her PE class. So, she was walking into the building, and not knowing where to go. That is a huge trigger for her. She needs to know her routine and what is going to happen and where to be. If is changes, or she is unprepared, it makes her very nervous and stressed. (but she is not Aspie-yeah right.)
     
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    ... which is what I was just about to say, and then got to your comment.

    ya right, is right.
    She sounds more Aspie every day.
    But it's harder to get a diagnosis for a girl.
     
  17. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    IC I know!! Her new therapist filled out a questionnaire last visit, and she said looking over it quickly, she said it was borderline, but she wanted someone at the hospital to look it over as well. Here is where my question is. Do we tell her, at 16 the she is Aspie (if she is in fact) what if anything would it help? I am not trying to hide it, just wondering if it will cause more harm, or if it will help. Ideas?
     
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I don't know her well enough to know how to answer that. But she does remind me of my son. :)
    I'm sending hugs.
     
  19. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Oh, gym was her first class? That always hoovers. Might explain why she'd rather be late.
     
  20. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Yeah. Great first period class huh. We will see what tmrw brings. We have an appointment. with her guidance counselor tmrw at 3. We found out (from the G.C.) that he had not sent her 504 out to her teachers this year!!!!!!!! Yes you read that correctly. Her teachers have no idea of her issues, and that they are supposed to modify her homework, and they need to be the one to schedule any make up work. (ie, difficult child, you missed this quiz please come in on Thurs. at lunch to take a make up)
     
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