Turned out to be my lucky day!

klmno

Active Member
The evaluator used to be a psychiatric in a military hospital. We had a 2 1/2 hour talk. He said he knew I was telling the truth or I wouldn't know the things I was telling him. He is giving me a diagnosis of generalized anxiety and depression and mentioning PTSD but saying he thinks that basicly went away after receiving my treatment at a military hospital. (Although I told him I thought some of it had come back starting when GAL questioned me in detail about my abuse as a child in court.) He's including that I am currently trying to get services thru the VA. He was knowledgable of the approaches used in therapy in the military at the time period I was in and so picked up pretty quick and I said TG because every other outpatient therapist looks befuddled by this and I can't understand them either.

He said I had come across to them at the courts as a paranoid personality. Well, then it became obvious to me that MST guy had lied to me again because I said "oh- I have this stuff from the military- do you need it?" He said no, that he wouldn't use something that old for a current evaluation and he found me credible and it didn't seem that anything else might be involed so he's not ordering any more testing. Then, he asked why I didn't go thru this last year and I explained about the MMPI being ordered without an interview and the concerns about a mis-diagnosis. And that my psychiatric said he would need to know childhood trauma and current stresses. He said he agreed. I said then why did MST guy tll me I would only get the written MMPI. He said I must have misunderstood MST guy. OK, I know I didn't- these people just have way too much faith in the credibility of those working in the courts- not the judges but the services unit.

I told him I wass really happy that someone they'd listen to can finally tell them that I am not the sociopath that they have feared I was. He laughed.

Then, I said are you sure you don't need anything from military and he said yes and I asked if would would let MST guy know that because MST guy had originally said they wantetd my whole service recoord. He said that didn't sound right and I said really, he did. He said MST guy would know better than that and would never say something like that. So he's going to ask MST guy and I'm wondering if he'll lie. It wouldn't be the first time he has. I'm starting to think this really is just boiling down to the ones who work together in a clique at the courts keeping the higher ups snowed about what they are really like.
 

gcvmom

Here we go again!
Sure hope this is the end of it for you and they can move on! Glad you got connected with this guy -- it IS your lucky day!
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
Glad it worked out so much better than you anticipated! I totally agree that it was pure stupidity on their part to request records from so long ago when ordering a CURRENT evaluation.....now, if you were a serial killer or something, that would be different. We are not talking about someone with a recent record or anything. Good for you k, you were due something positive.

Sharon
 

klmno

Active Member
This evaluator made it clear that he wouldn't do an MMPI on anyone without including a clinical interview and made it clear that he never asked for any military records. Additionally, he didn't mention or ask for a release from the psychiatric I was seeing last year. Also, he made it clear that MST guy would have known this is how he would have handled things. They all think MST guy is very professional and knowledgable. So why then would MST guy mislead me last year about the MMPI and tell me they wanted these old records this year? I told evaluator that I knew a few of them over there hated me because I had stepped on some toes in the past when I thought things had gone far enough in a certain area and drawn a line in the sand. He asked for a couple of examples and I told him and he agreed that it sounded inappropriate and he didn't blame me.

If MST guy is trying to make me look more mentally ill than I am, he'll lie of course and tell this guy that he never told me those things. If MST guy told me those things just to provoke me or scare me so much thinking I'd refuse then they could get me for being noncompliant, well it didn't work.

All I know is that I am positive that at least some in our court unit are not as professional, honest, and knowledgable as the judges and higher mental health profs seem to believe. And my opinion isn't stemming from paranoia - it was formed by seeing and hearing things first hand. So now I am left with no trust in them.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
WHEW - I am pleased. REALLY pleased. I am so so so glad this turned out this way for you. It's only a step, but it's a step UP!
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I'm happy that things went well for you. I'd suggest that you make notes of your interview or interaction and then do your best to not stress yourself rehashing past contacts. I know it's not easy to let it go but The Serenity Prayer really would be a wise choice for now. You've done the best job you could do and now gaining "the serenity to accept the things you can not change" should help you chill as you move on. Best of luck. DDD
 

klmno

Active Member
Thanks, Step!

I'm not sure there is any reason for me to document anything. The psychiatric will write up an assessment and recommendations and submit it thru MST guy to be used in court. The psychiatric told me it would be discussed in court but couldn't say if difficult child and/or I would be ini the room at the time. The psychiatric asked about my childhood and all this stuff- I didn't go in there dredging it up. I just hope that while they might label me as "psychologically tainted" or faulty from childhood, that they don't ignore the fact that it was from family issues and the family never received therapy so maybe it's not such a smart idea to send difficult child to anyone in that family. Of course, my logic never seems to work like theirs.

As far as the report, he told me the diagnosis's he was going to include and said I could get a copy after it was written but had to go there and complete a form requesting it.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I'm not sure there is any reason for me to document anything.

ALWAYS document. But what you have written to us here should be sufficient in this situation.

As for the apparent conflict between what you recall MST guy saying, and what this guy says the MST would not have said - this bloke is not going to pat you on the head and say, "Of course you are right," with everything. He has to show some level of professional solidarity, wherever there is any element of possible misunderstanding. But what this bloke tells you about MST guy, and what he is thinking privately, will not be the same things.

You told this guy some of the things that have been happening to you. No wonder you came across as paranoid - they WERE out to get you! The thing is, you have now been told that events as you recall them, were inappropriate and, according to what you recall, you did the right things.

Yes, the MST guy is going to lie about what he said to you. Will this new bloke believe him? Maybe. Maybe not. Will this new bloke admit to you if he doesn't believe MST guy? Nope.

I am so glad you've finally done this, klmno. I've been in the same situation (sort-of) and I charged in and faced it head on, and gazumped the cynics by producing a report that cleared me. At the same time I saw others who would run to avoid any hint of "we need you to be assessed psychologically" or "We feel you need to see a psychiatrist to make sure you are OK," and who therefore cut themselves off from a lot of vital help, because it came with a psychiatric assessment string attached. I remember saying to these people, "Get the assessment done, get the clean bill of mental health (or at least the 'it's not relevant to this issue' bill of mental health) and then you can move on to the physical treatment you need."
In one case at least, someone died in their desperation to avoid any psychiatric assessment. From what I knew of the situation - the psychiatrist would have done one assessment then moved on. But the person was afraid that the shrink would divert the patient away from the vitally-needed medical interventions but in avoiding the shrink, the patient was then cut off form the medical interventions anyway. Very tragic.

I was in a situation where, after I'd seen the shrink who had said to me, "Yes, you've had depression in the past but you dealt with it. You currently are coping well with a difficult situation and don't need my help," I still had nasty scepticism from my son's specialist. My son's doctor actually said to me, "You managed to fool the psychiatrist - that just shows how sick you really are."
I worked out afterwards - my son's doctor was trying to play psychiatrist with me, he felt I did not express anger (because I was deliberately holding it in; I knew if I exploded he would label me as unstable and dangerous). So he was trying to make me angry, and I was refusing to play his game. Once I realised this, I moved on. With hindsight, i should have had him dragged before the medical board first, and struck off for inappropriate practice. But then - it would have taken up my time and energy when we really needed to put the whole unpleasant trauma behind us.

In your case - you have PTSD mixed up in there, tangled with this mess. I had the PTSD (later on) but not linked to the other issues, thank goodness. So it didn't muddy the waters for me.

This won't be fully over, not for a while. You may find some individuals in the court system try to challenge or overturn this assessment. But if you have kept this guy's phone number, use him again if you need this clarified or verified. Play the game by their rules, but play the game aggressively to get what you want.

Marg
 

klmno

Active Member
Thanks so much for your support, Marg. The fortunate thing here is just like MST guy is in their system and the ONLY person they have there doing it so they think he's wonderful, this is the only psychiatric they use for these assessments. They can't very well discredit him- and he's above MST guy. Also, when we were covering the part about difficult child's history and when his problems started and what all I did to get the best MDE- this guy knows that expert who wrote the recommendations that I had to take to court and fight MST and PO and GAL on hoping judge would go with that. He doesn't know that part yet though and when I said who did the MDE and what that assessment and recs were, he said he agreed with that and he knew her well and thought a lot of her. If he starts talking to MST guy about all this, I can only hope that even if MST guy doesn't fully admit stuff he's done to try to instigate me, maybe he'll mention something like my reluctance to do MST because I got recs from someone else, or we weren't sure if she was telling the truth (this guy said he KNEW I was because of the terms I used from my intensive therapy), or something else that gives it away. I'm pretty sure that something is going on in courts services regarding some people starting to look closer. For one, they don't use the "old" GAL difficult child use to have anymore- on any case. And some of the attny's are starting to be more closed mouth. And apparently, a couple of people have gone to the old PO and asked some questions. If this psychiatric talks with MST guy and gets the jest that some people over there really don't like me and think I'm just ODD due to reluctance about MST or not credible, etc, it BLOWS the paranoid or dellusional excuse right out of the water because it makes it obvious how they have been handling things. But even if they put enough doubt in psychiatric's head that I could be lying to him, I can get enough records in that will prove it.

No, it won't go away as long as difficult child is in the system and that could be until he's 18yo. Also, if they turn him over to dss and dss gives custody to my bro or a group home, then we have more of this kind of stuff coming out in hearings for one year. After one year of that, a hearing is held to determine if difficult child comes home or if I lose parental rights.
 
Top