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General Parenting
Turns Out that difficult child's Biggest Problem is Me
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 437925" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>DaisyFace, </p><p></p><p>Before you and everyone else gets so bent out of shape? May I offer a glass not even poured theory? Firstly I remember you talking about Ms. A as a person who; moreso than the others got your family situation. Then she comes out with the behavior modification/do to get theory that they ALL have to do and now she's really hit a sore spot with "You aren't loving your child as much as you need to." NOW - IF you were a Mother that did not love your child as much as you needed to and before she had said anything to that affect, but wanted to make improvements in your relationship with your daughter? What would your reaction have been? What would your body language have been? What would your DAUGHTERS reaction have been? Providing she was in the room at the time? Just think about that for a moment. I know it sounds totally redundant - but just think about it from the standpoint of say someone who had NOT been loving their child enough. The reaction and the facial expressions would NOT have been the same ones as YOURS and the same as YOUR daughters were I AM SURE. </p><p></p><p>Now - There sits Ms. Ally who I am most assured KNOWS that you DO love your daughter quite enough, and you show her how you love her QUITE enough - but PERHAPS -MAYBE - JUST MAYBE (and this is a strectch) but maybe in a session alone Ms. difficult child told Ms. Ally that HER LOGIC for misbehaving -----was that HER MOTHER DID NOT LOVE HER ENOUGH. So Ms. Ally has sat there and thought "OH REALLY? (well I will just call YOUR bluff little girl and I will DO it IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER!) So.....She says TO YOU......"I know what the problem of difficult child IS - and there can be NOTHING else - THE PROBLEM OF difficult child IS THAT YOU HAVE NOT SHOWN HER ENOUGH AFFECTION ALL HER LIFE. YOU NEED TO SPEND THE ENTIRE WEEK HUGGING HER AND TELLING HER WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, and LOVING HER. - SO difficult child SITS THERE...and things - WOW MY counselor really DID listen to me - I told her something and WOW - she's going to get my MOM - to do WHAT? TELL ME SHE LOVES ME ????? FREAKING AWESOME!!! COOOL (and while the statement may have peaved YOU off? IT COULD be serving a far greater purpose between difficult child and the COUNSELOR that just is NOT necessary for YOU to be aware of AT.THIS.TIME BECAUSE - YOU KNOW, ALLY KNOWS, I KNOW - THE WHOLE BOARD KNOWS - YOU HAVE GIVEN difficult child MORE AFFECTION Than God Gives ANGELS....) HOWEVER - WHAT REAL HARM???? DOES IT DO???? TO walk around all week - and look at difficult child and say "I LOVE YOU." and then HUG HER. NONE. BUT if it builds a communication between her and that counselor - AND -------calls difficult child's bluff - AND.......In a weeks time - YOU ALL go back to ALLY and sit down and say "WELL I spent the ENTIRE WEEK SAYING I LOVE YOU, HUGGING HER and SHOWING HER AFFECTION - and SHE IS STILL NOT BEHAVING!!!!!!!" THEN what happens in difficult child WORLD TO ALLY? difficult child has NOTHING to go back to ALLY and say "WELL I did get love - BUT? NOPE. YOu asked for love - YOU GOT LOVE. and you STILL MISBEHAVED - SO WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE NOW - I SEE YOUR MOTHER TRYING HER HARDEST -----WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE NOW - YOU HAVE NONE< NOTHING< NADA - ZIP - SO TALKE TO ME ABOUT YOUR REAL ISSUES?????!!!!!!! </p><p></p><p>SEE....Sometimes - what we hear - and what is really going on in counseling - could be (and I'm not saying for certain because I don't know) but it COULD be - that this woman is really a FIRST RATE counselor - and is outsmarting difficult child - and IS on your side. The fact that shes doing it THIS way - ????? a little more than unconventional to be sure. And if she's not? THEN you take her out in the hall and poke her in the eye - or whatever it is nice Daisyfaces do. lol </p><p></p><p>But again - IF you leave counseling - and the counselor HURTS YOUR FEELINGS - DO NOT GO HOME for a week and stew - PUT THE KIDS IN THE CAR - and go back in and HAVE IT OUT ===THEN AND THERE. SHE was not worth YOU being upset all this time for. She left and never gave this a thought - and YOU have been upset for xx days. NOT GOOD. And I say - FOOEY....Especially since this is ONCE again - FOR difficult child benefit - </p><p></p><p>Just my thought - outside the box.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 437925, member: 4964"] DaisyFace, Before you and everyone else gets so bent out of shape? May I offer a glass not even poured theory? Firstly I remember you talking about Ms. A as a person who; moreso than the others got your family situation. Then she comes out with the behavior modification/do to get theory that they ALL have to do and now she's really hit a sore spot with "You aren't loving your child as much as you need to." NOW - IF you were a Mother that did not love your child as much as you needed to and before she had said anything to that affect, but wanted to make improvements in your relationship with your daughter? What would your reaction have been? What would your body language have been? What would your DAUGHTERS reaction have been? Providing she was in the room at the time? Just think about that for a moment. I know it sounds totally redundant - but just think about it from the standpoint of say someone who had NOT been loving their child enough. The reaction and the facial expressions would NOT have been the same ones as YOURS and the same as YOUR daughters were I AM SURE. Now - There sits Ms. Ally who I am most assured KNOWS that you DO love your daughter quite enough, and you show her how you love her QUITE enough - but PERHAPS -MAYBE - JUST MAYBE (and this is a strectch) but maybe in a session alone Ms. difficult child told Ms. Ally that HER LOGIC for misbehaving -----was that HER MOTHER DID NOT LOVE HER ENOUGH. So Ms. Ally has sat there and thought "OH REALLY? (well I will just call YOUR bluff little girl and I will DO it IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER!) So.....She says TO YOU......"I know what the problem of difficult child IS - and there can be NOTHING else - THE PROBLEM OF difficult child IS THAT YOU HAVE NOT SHOWN HER ENOUGH AFFECTION ALL HER LIFE. YOU NEED TO SPEND THE ENTIRE WEEK HUGGING HER AND TELLING HER WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, and LOVING HER. - SO difficult child SITS THERE...and things - WOW MY counselor really DID listen to me - I told her something and WOW - she's going to get my MOM - to do WHAT? TELL ME SHE LOVES ME ????? FREAKING AWESOME!!! COOOL (and while the statement may have peaved YOU off? IT COULD be serving a far greater purpose between difficult child and the COUNSELOR that just is NOT necessary for YOU to be aware of AT.THIS.TIME BECAUSE - YOU KNOW, ALLY KNOWS, I KNOW - THE WHOLE BOARD KNOWS - YOU HAVE GIVEN difficult child MORE AFFECTION Than God Gives ANGELS....) HOWEVER - WHAT REAL HARM???? DOES IT DO???? TO walk around all week - and look at difficult child and say "I LOVE YOU." and then HUG HER. NONE. BUT if it builds a communication between her and that counselor - AND -------calls difficult child's bluff - AND.......In a weeks time - YOU ALL go back to ALLY and sit down and say "WELL I spent the ENTIRE WEEK SAYING I LOVE YOU, HUGGING HER and SHOWING HER AFFECTION - and SHE IS STILL NOT BEHAVING!!!!!!!" THEN what happens in difficult child WORLD TO ALLY? difficult child has NOTHING to go back to ALLY and say "WELL I did get love - BUT? NOPE. YOu asked for love - YOU GOT LOVE. and you STILL MISBEHAVED - SO WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE NOW - I SEE YOUR MOTHER TRYING HER HARDEST -----WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE NOW - YOU HAVE NONE< NOTHING< NADA - ZIP - SO TALKE TO ME ABOUT YOUR REAL ISSUES?????!!!!!!! SEE....Sometimes - what we hear - and what is really going on in counseling - could be (and I'm not saying for certain because I don't know) but it COULD be - that this woman is really a FIRST RATE counselor - and is outsmarting difficult child - and IS on your side. The fact that shes doing it THIS way - ????? a little more than unconventional to be sure. And if she's not? THEN you take her out in the hall and poke her in the eye - or whatever it is nice Daisyfaces do. lol But again - IF you leave counseling - and the counselor HURTS YOUR FEELINGS - DO NOT GO HOME for a week and stew - PUT THE KIDS IN THE CAR - and go back in and HAVE IT OUT ===THEN AND THERE. SHE was not worth YOU being upset all this time for. She left and never gave this a thought - and YOU have been upset for xx days. NOT GOOD. And I say - FOOEY....Especially since this is ONCE again - FOR difficult child benefit - Just my thought - outside the box. [/QUOTE]
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