tweedle dee has been approved....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Mar 4, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    County mental health has approved a 45 day inpatient stay for kt. The only caveat is that it's at one of the treatment facilities that our psychiatrist has practice privileges. Fine with me as I don't want to have to "start over" with a psychiatrist unfamiliar with our family & kt in particular.

    Saying all that, it makes me angry & very sad to even be considering this step. I know this is wrong, but I feels such a failure as a parent, even knowing I've done everything that can be possibly be done. All the interventions, therapies, in home services. husband dying just pulled the rug right out from under kt.

    therapist told me yesterday that kt is looking for the same chaos she had with wm now that husband isn't here to help balance out the mix, so to speak. The more I thought about it, the more I see he's right. She's looking for the same sick relationship she has with wm with boys in school & has become quite hyper sexual. Scares the bejeebers out of me. My home is on "high alert" by the crisis team.

    I never thought we'd be back to this level with kt ~ not this regressed. Never believed I'd see all these darling personalities popping out; all this dissociative stuff at this level again.

    So we wait for a bed to open & stay on high alert. kt is unaware that she is heading for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I refuse to transport her when the day comes. And I will need something to fill my time.

    I hate this so.

    I appreciate you listening ~ just needed to talk tonight.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Linda, I am so sorry. This must be tearing your mommy heart to pieces! Kt had come so far, and this regression is just a terrible blow to both of you! (and probably to all the people who work with her!)

    I am glad your psychiatrist has privileges at this facility. I think that is VERY important. I know this will be terribly hard for you, but it will give you some time to recover from this also.

    husband dying pulled the rug out from under you, too.

    Many gentle hugs,

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how difficult this is with all of the progress kt has made. I pray that this will truly be a healing time for kt so she can continue to make more progress.

    Please, not for one second, think you are a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    Maybe to help fill your time you can get in some visiting with your family in Wisconsin. I think it would be good for you to be around some of your family right now.

    Sending the gentlest of hugs and continued prayers your way.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Gentle hugs Linda, and I am sorry it has come to this, but at the same time maybe kt can learn better coping skills. I think that is something most of us need when a tragedy hits.

    Use this time to take care of you, visit family or just to grieve for all the losses, including husband.

    You are not a failure, you are a warrior parent, and don't forget it. You have fought way more for your child than I have for mine, and I really don't know how you have perservered thru such dificulty. I admire you for it, for putting one foot in front of the other every day. That can be very hard.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Failure parents wouldn't keep trying... Sorry, you don't meet the requirements for that title.

    Many, many hugs. Even tho kt has regressed to this level, maybe her maturity will show in her ability to recover from it. Time will tell, Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will help.

    Keep us posted. You continue to be in my prayers.
  6. Prayers and thoughts; I can't begin to imagine how tough this is for everyone in your family. Something happening to husband is one of my greatest fears because of what would happen to difficult child. difficult child is still attempting to process and accept my father's death alone a few months ago.

    Prayers especially that your daughter can come through faster. No matter what we tell ourselves, it is so hard when we see them start to regress. I just keep in the back of my mind during times like this how difficult child tells me he is listening, even when it looks like he isn't.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Unfortunately, life never really goes the way we have it planned! Same with kt. She had been making so much progress and had gotten to a really good place. The chaos with her father at the end and his subsequent death proved how truly fragil she was, and is, under the exterior.

    The fact that her fragility is recognized by her support team is a plus. Imagine the battle if it wasn't? I can't imagine the helplessness and fear in watching your child regress this way.

    Keep the faith - keep the hope.

    And listen Linda, you will find plenty to keep you busy and do while she is away. First and foremost, taking absolute great care of yourself, meeting your needs first. There are plenty of things that will need to be done, make sure there are some wants in there as well.

    Hugs my friend,
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry. But I think you are making a wise choice. You are doing what needs to be done. She will grow and learn and stabilize once more. I believe that if she was that stable once, she can do it again.
  9. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. I'll pray that she can come out of this faster and a stronger young woman. It is so unfair what you all have been through.
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm struggling with this though the treatment team assures me it's right.....that my feelings & such are very normal but magnified due to grief.

    You're all the best when it comes to lifting my spirits, clarifying my thoughts. I know this is the best thing.
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Our kids wouldn't be considered Special Needs if it didn't involve such gut wrenching choices as you are having to make.
    To add to it, the rest of the world choices,and people get in the way as well.
    None of these facts make your life any easier right now.
    But you are doing what any of us would do right now. You have done you soul searching, you are not giving up, you are by no means a failure. You are a Mom fighting to help your Daughter and Family.
    I am saying a prayer for KT's stability, yours and WM's.
    Take care of yourself, please.
  12. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Great news!

    This probably sounds off-the-wall, but in one way I see this as a positive sign with-the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Kt attached to husband and his loss has shaken her security. in my opinion, it wouldn't be "normal" for her to have little to no setback.

    The loss of a dad would be hard under regular circumstances; it's just with-kt's existing problems perhaps this setback seems excessive.

    I'm hoping the regression will be shorter-lived than in the past, but under the circumstances of loosing yet another parent, maybe not. I guess time will tell.

    Shortened recovery time between each regression period is how I used to gauge difficult child's progress. Fingers crossed that she will recover sooner than expected.

    Keep hanging on, Linda. You're more than due for a break on the roller coaster ride!
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending many hugs and many prayers.
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Prayers and hugs here too. If you feel this is what needs to be done; then so be it. It is a blessing that these services are available. Will you be able to visit her? Talk with her on the phone? It'll give you time to rest as well. No back thrashing aloud. Take the time to nurture yourself. Get healthier for you and her.