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General Parenting
Tween defiant & refusing to go to school
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemykid" data-source="post: 398744"><p>Thank you for your advice...</p><p></p><p>My son and I had been seeing a therapist (4 months) to help us deal with his defiance and how we can work together to accomplish both our goals...the therapy initially surrounded my son's long-time addiction to the computer. I had made it clear to my son that he needs to BALANCE his computer-time with other activities...he takes drum lessons and swimming (these are two things I know he likes). He is not allowed on the computer during the week..only for school, which I need to monitor closely, as he does sneak in gaming if I am out of site, too long. I believe he defines his identity with his brilliance on the computer...so, when he loses his computer time for misconduct...he loses himself and retreats mentally.</p><p></p><p>You are correct, his father's rant scarred him deeply. His dad just drove out from CO to MA this past wkd to talk with him, because my son refused all calls and emails from him. They talked, and We all talked and things seem better.</p><p></p><p>His teachers are understanding and have given him extra time to do a 3-wk project that was due before the holiday...My son has still not started, and he won't accept my help. I know he is overwhelmed, but even when the pressure is taken off, he still can't start...he is STUCK.</p><p></p><p>Depression...Yes. We met with a child psyciatrist last week and she prescibed Strattera..which he is on day 3 of...refused it yesterday...took it today.</p><p></p><p>He has decided this week that he will not continue with his drum and swimming lessons...back to square one...baby steps....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemykid, post: 398744"] Thank you for your advice... My son and I had been seeing a therapist (4 months) to help us deal with his defiance and how we can work together to accomplish both our goals...the therapy initially surrounded my son's long-time addiction to the computer. I had made it clear to my son that he needs to BALANCE his computer-time with other activities...he takes drum lessons and swimming (these are two things I know he likes). He is not allowed on the computer during the week..only for school, which I need to monitor closely, as he does sneak in gaming if I am out of site, too long. I believe he defines his identity with his brilliance on the computer...so, when he loses his computer time for misconduct...he loses himself and retreats mentally. You are correct, his father's rant scarred him deeply. His dad just drove out from CO to MA this past wkd to talk with him, because my son refused all calls and emails from him. They talked, and We all talked and things seem better. His teachers are understanding and have given him extra time to do a 3-wk project that was due before the holiday...My son has still not started, and he won't accept my help. I know he is overwhelmed, but even when the pressure is taken off, he still can't start...he is STUCK. Depression...Yes. We met with a child psyciatrist last week and she prescibed Strattera..which he is on day 3 of...refused it yesterday...took it today. He has decided this week that he will not continue with his drum and swimming lessons...back to square one...baby steps.... [/QUOTE]
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