Tween girls: Queen bees and Wannabes/My take

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Jun 29, 2007.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Many of you recommended that I read this book because of the "girl wars" going on with my daughter. I did read it, and this is what me and my daughter thought of it.
    Me: I'm not sure it's so true in our small community that there are so many cliques. There are only thirty-five kids going into sixth grade, and it will remain that way through senior year of high school. Still, there are groups. As a five time mom with two daughters, I think the roles in the book are a little cut-and-dried, especially in a small town. However, the drama of tweens is still quite high and the girls do fight and make up and hate and love on a daily basis that drives all the mothers nuts. My daughter hates the drama, but can't always avoid it.
    I found it hard to classify my kid's role at school. She has TONS of friends and is sort of a class clown, but she doesn't seem interested in collecting followers. I think she may have a few, but I'm not sure.
    My daughter: Her take on it. "There are no cliques. School is too small for cliques. Nobody is left out completely. Yeah, there are two seperate lunch table groups, but it's not based on popularity (mother's note: I think it is)." My daughter moved from "popular" table to the other table, but didn't seem upset at all by it.
    Note: Mean girl P. is losing a lot of her friends. To my daughter's surprise, many kids would rather hang with HER than with P. I am finding out that lots of kids don't like to be in P's orbit, even though she is considered popular. My daughter was the first peer to reject P. for being mean. It's catching on; others are getting brave enough to leave P's orbit too.

    In all, the book gave me lots of insight into girls. I was one of those girls who refused to get swallowed up in cliques, so this is really new to me. I want very much to understand girls. I feel I failed my older daughter by my ignorance of these social games, and I don't want to fail my younger one.