Two weeks ago it was Borderline (BPD), now I'm thinking Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)...

[whatamess]

I posted a few weeks ago wondering if I could be 'part-time' borderline personality disorder in relation to working with my difficult child's school district. Now, I have been trying to figure out why the people in the district I'm working with are reacting to my requests in the manner that they are (cruelly, I believe). I've been reading about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and by golly it fits, except for the fact that my worries are not unreasonabe/unlikely to occur- as a matter of fact they continue to occur weekly in relation to difficult child's school. I do admit to thinking about all of it in an obsessive manner and I do have compulsions in order to relieve the anxiety, but I think the steps I am taking are reasonable in relation to the situation I'm dealing with.
Does anyone themselves or their difficult child's have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and can you talk a little about the 'realness' of your obsession/compulsion?

 

[HaoZi]

I keep getting told kiddo is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but confess to confusion about it myself.

 

[whatamess]

And another thing- One of the things that is driving me absolutely insane is that school is not answering my questions- I think they think they are 'enabling' my alleged Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ways if they participate in answering my questions. I feel this is very wrong on a number of levels (I have a right to get answers, they are important questions, and they know I REALLY want to know) and I have tried to accomodate their reasons for having difficulty answering me and still nothing from them- they seem truly unempathetic. What is ironic about this is that the people I am working with (some of them) are supposed to be fluent in Ross Greene/CPS-- shouldn't they be trying to use some empathy statements and finding out my concerns and putting their concerns out there and then we work together? I wonder if Ross Greene would give differing advice for people trying to incorporate CPS with people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? One of the prevailing pieces of advice for family/friends/co-workers of an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) person is to NOT ENABLE or participate in compulsions through reassurance. This seems contrary to CPS...

 

[BusynMember]

My adult son has severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). With medications it is better. It was so bad he had to drop out of college, and deeply regrets it, but he had no choice. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) was not obsessive thoughts for him. He had obsessive rituals and out-of-the-world anxiety. He would not be able to listen to a lecture in college because he would HAVE to count the words the professor was saying. Other times he had to count his own breathing and was so conscious of it he was afraid he'd stop. It was a real whirlwind and he was suicidal and could not concentrate on anything at all except his counting and his breathing. He has always had very high anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder.

 

[barneysmom]

Hi whatamess,

It seems perfectly reasonable to me that it's not you, but the school. The school system is the last resource I would use to evaluate my own mental health. It can get so surreal that you think you are going nuts in some type of bizarro world (not always, but often enough).

Also, when we don't get reasonable answers to reasonable questions, we obsess about that. Well, not obsess, but dig in, until we find the answers. Maybe you're just digging in.

Maybe it's not you -- it's them. That's my gut reaction, also to your other post about borderline PD.

I certainly have no business commenting on your mental health -- just giving you my response as a fellow reader here at CD.

Jo

 

[DaisyFace]

Whatamess--

I have to agree with Barneysmom - the behavior of the school is not a tool I would use for measuring my own mental health.

And remember - in some part...we ALL have traits that could be a symptom of a mental illness. It is the level, persistence, and extent to which these behaviors are interfering with your day-to-day life that it rises to the level of diagnosis.

Rather than trying to "guess" - have you discussed your concerns with a psychiatrist/therapist ?

 

[Josie]

My daughter has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), mostly the Obsession part.

Sometimes, she will get stuck on something that could realistically happen. She will keep asking if I think it is going to happen, how likely is it to happen, etc. She just can't stop thinking about it until she gets unstuck.

When we were doing CBT with a therapist for her, he said that people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) have a hard time with uncertainty. They need to learn to live without letting anxiety over what could happen take over their lives.

I don't think I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). However, my daughter is very sick and some might say I obsess over that. It is true my life has gotten very small because it revolves around a sick child who needs my care. I don't think it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for me because for the most part, I don't think about how her life could turn out. I don't have anxiety over it, but I do have concern, if that makes sense. I think any parent with a child with a disabling mystery illness would spend time trying to figure it out and now that we have a doctor that I mostly trust, I don't feel the need to research it. So, even though it looks like I am "obsessed", it doesn't feel to me like a true Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) obsession.

So, I think the degree of anxiety over it and time spent spinning about possible scenarios might make the difference between an obsession and a normal response to a problem. Too much time spent thinking about what might happen which could cause this, then this, so this might happen, to me, would be a problem.

Are your compulsions to deal with the anxiety a reasonable response?

 

[whatamess]

...

 

[Josie]

I don't have experience dealing with a school over issues like that. It doesn't sound unreasonable necessarily, given the situation.

I do think if I had to spend so much time trying to make it work for my child, I would look for a different place or way for them to learn. I am having to homeschool one of mine because regular school wouldn't work for her. We also moved our other daughter to private school to get the best environment for her. So maybe I am just quick to give up the battle with the school. It just looked like I wasn't going to get anywhere with them, so we found a different answer.

Maybe it isn't Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but just trying to change things you can't. A therapist could help you figure it out.

 

[novangel]

I guess if what I am doing is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), then my compulsion is to review my difficult child's daily notes from school, look for discrepancies between what staff are writing and what I know about my child, then I ask difficult child about his day. If these things don't add up, I look for explanations via questions to staff during a weekly meeting. I continuously ask questions until I feel they are answered or staff tell me they understand my thoughts about how things could have been handled for a different outcome. For the last 2 years I rarely can distract myself from thinking about how to convey the information I have about my difficult child to others who care for him, so they will understand how to work with him and prevent meltdowns. I am in contact with an outside consultant and an advocate multiple times a week via phone or email to talk about the latest school developments. I email/call district persons often. The things that I am trying to prevent from happening through these actions are meltdowns where my son is restrained or secluded or the police are called (all of which have happened in the past as well as this year). Does that sound reasonable?

This is not Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). You're a very concerned parent (can't blame you) and you're spinning your wheels in over drive in a desperate attempt to keep him on the right track. You have a valid reason to feel worried and have anxiety about your son..that is not a disorder.

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and that is something completely different.