Ugggg! I've had it today!

[JKF]

I posted earlier about my difficult child but now I really need to vent!! He's so impossible to deal with, wants only what he wants, manipulates, lies to and steals from anyone he comes in contact with. He's been in the hospital twice in two days because he was caught stealing at the group home. As soon as he's caught that's when he starts in with the "I'm going to kill myself and everyone else". He knows that if he says that they have to take him to the psychiatric hospital and that he's got a way out. He told me the police came last night after he started destroying the house and I asked what exactly they did. He was like "oh I said I was going to kill myself, so they took me to the hospital and called it a day". Uggggggh! Really???? It infuriates me!

He keeps complaining about how much he hates it there and that everyone is against him and that he wants to come home (HA HA NOT HAPPENING). He puts "0" effort into anything. He only does the basics (if that) so he can make level and get privileges. He knows I'm angry with him because I was very short with him on the phone just now. I plan on taking a step back and letting him deal with this. I'm tired of the constant drama. Every single day it's something else. I told him to call his CMO and talk to him about possible solutions because I've done everything I can for him at this point. It's now time for him to start doing for himself!

 

[susiestar]

I think taking a step back is an excellent idea. I am PROUD of you for insisting he not live with you. It is so HARD to say that about our kids, even when that kid is dangerous to us or to our other kids. I had to make the same call to save my family but it was not easy.

He has a case mgr for a reason and it is time to let them figure out some ways to help. If nothing else, maybe your son will learn if he has to face some consequences. I would be going bonkers with the 'suicide to get out of consequences' koi also.

 

[JKF]

Thank you so much Susie! I appreciate the support more than you know! It really IS hard to take a step back and even harder to say "NO you can't *ever* come home"! It kills me sometimes. I love my son so much and want the best for him but I can't do it FOR him. His illness and behavioral problems have taken a huge toll on myself and our family for so many years now and sometimes I feel like I have to sacrifice one for the other. It's a horrible feeling but if he doesn't want to get better what more can I possibly do? Yes, I've made mistakes over the years but I've tried to do the best I could as a mother. He tries to make me feel like his situation is all my fault and for awhile I totally fed into that. It nearly destroyed me at one point.

So, anyway, after two horrible days, today he's having a good day. He called and apologized and is excited about getting his social security card today. I'm happy that he's feeling better today but I'm smart enough to know that there will be another "tragedy" soon enough so I'm gearing up for the next round. I'm finding it easier with each episode to step back and practice some "tough love". I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns (I wasn't always able to due to guilt, etc) and I really hope and pray that it will benefit him in the future.

 

[buddy]

I really admire you so much. I could see myself in a similar situation with my son having to leave and no matter how hard I try to prepare myself for that I feel like it would be nearly impossible.

But though we are a part of the equation, beyond that (and probably a more comfortable way for many of us to think of it ...doesn't mean its the right way though ), ...you are doing the right thing for him in the long run. ( somehow easier for me to focus on what difficult child needs )

Being so strong on that is a great example ....thanks.