As I posted in Watercooler, I've been working my tail off lately. For the past few weeks, I've been staying with a woman who has vascular, paranoid dementia and Parkinson's at night. On top of that, I'd committed to staying with 3 elderly beagles starting last Thursday, who need to be taken out or given medications every 2 hours. This pretty much precludes me from going home to take care of my cats. So, I asked my daughter to stay with the dogs at night for Thursday, Friday and Saturday and I would take care of them during the day and feed the cats and clean their box on her way to work in the morning. I hadn't been home since Thursday and was barely there previously. When I got home this afternoon, I almost cried. The cats had no water for at least two days (glad they like drinking out of dirty toilet bowls). No wet food for who knows how long. The cat boxes hadn't been cleaned. BG had peed on the kitchen floor and that was completely dry. The sink was full of dishes. I'd asked her to empty the dishwasher last week and she said she would. There was a broken plate, silverware and two dirty camp cans on the floor. You get the picture. I almost started crying. Honestly, I was so exhausted from sleep deprivation, I just walked past everything and laid down and slept for about 3 hours. When I got up, I didn't say a word about the kitchen, not even the cat pee. I just started cleaning it. All I did was ask her to clean the box and it created a very nasty scene. I honestly was shocked, surprised and hurt at her reaction. I thought she was growing up, willing to take responsibility for her actions. I was back to dealing with her at age 13. I was actually shaking while standing at the sink. I didn't know the PTSD was this bad but as her volume increased, so did my shaking and there was actual fear that the violence was going to start anew. On top of that, she's been staying at my house off and on for the past 3 weeks, partially to help me and partially to get away from the drama at her apartment. The reality is she has done very little unless I specifically ask her and even then it has been done poorly at the very best of times and frequently "forgotten." I love her. I truly do but I can't take the piggishness of her and the reactions if I say something about it. It doesn't matter how it is said. I can bring it up with humor; I can sit her down for a gentle conversation; I can be sarcastic; I can be angry. Doesn't matter. Her reaction is the same. It is somehow my fault and then the ugliness starts. I'm so tired of the defensive reaction to anything said, the aggression, the meanness. I'm just heartsick. Anyone have any suggestions what I can do? I want to see my child. I want to be around her but I don't want to spend the rest of my life being angry at her laziness and inconsideration or shaking in fear.