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UGH! Guilt!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 326703" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>This is another vote to take the gps back. $200 is WAY too much to spend on one. Janet is right - if you watch the sales you can find one for under $100. A good one. My husband got one five years ago because a friend's husband got it as a prize at a conference and he didn't want it. She knew husband would love it and insisted I give it to him. Otherwise, he still wouldn't have one. </p><p></p><p>The computer is a tool that difficult child needs, and it IS permission and help to develop into the person she can be. </p><p></p><p>The GPS is a toy. Can be useful but most of the time they just are not needed., in my opinion. easy child is an adult. He clearly can see things through more adult eyes than DF can. SHE is not yet an adult. There is NO way she should be guilting you into an expensive gift when she has not paid rent in 6 months.</p><p></p><p>Christmas IS about giving. TO everyone - INCLUDING YOU. Part of the giving is understanding that the important gifts come from the HEART. Not from guilt heaped upon you by a not yet mature 18yo girlfriend of your son's. She hasn't been part of the family long enough to really KNOW your relationship with your son. It takes years to learn that.</p><p></p><p>What are you going to do when an emergency crops up in January or Feb or March? You are partly going to resent that GPS. </p><p></p><p>The best gifts are not measured in dollars, they are measured with love and thoughtfulness. Getting easy child a gadget he knows good and well you cannot afford is only going to make him feel guilty. That will taint any pleasure he gets. If you get him the controller and a small item that brings back a childhood memory, maybe a Christmas memory - THAT will mean a LOT more to both of you. </p><p></p><p>Get a photo put onto a car mug. Walmart will do it for $10. Then fill it with his favorite candy from when he was a little boy. Put in a note about a memory of him eating the candy, smearing it all over, sharing a bite with you, whatever.</p><p></p><p>THOSE are the things he will remember in 5 years. All he is going to remember about the GPS is that it was neat but you couldn't buy your medicine because you bought it. </p><p></p><p>been there done that on his end. Take the GPS back. Explain to DF, gently, that you don't measure gifts by dollars, but by need and ability. Explain that maybe if she had paid rent you could have gotten teh GPS, but her rent is really part of his gift. Or just that you prefer to give gifts that are more meaningful rather than just expensive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 326703, member: 1233"] This is another vote to take the gps back. $200 is WAY too much to spend on one. Janet is right - if you watch the sales you can find one for under $100. A good one. My husband got one five years ago because a friend's husband got it as a prize at a conference and he didn't want it. She knew husband would love it and insisted I give it to him. Otherwise, he still wouldn't have one. The computer is a tool that difficult child needs, and it IS permission and help to develop into the person she can be. The GPS is a toy. Can be useful but most of the time they just are not needed., in my opinion. easy child is an adult. He clearly can see things through more adult eyes than DF can. SHE is not yet an adult. There is NO way she should be guilting you into an expensive gift when she has not paid rent in 6 months. Christmas IS about giving. TO everyone - INCLUDING YOU. Part of the giving is understanding that the important gifts come from the HEART. Not from guilt heaped upon you by a not yet mature 18yo girlfriend of your son's. She hasn't been part of the family long enough to really KNOW your relationship with your son. It takes years to learn that. What are you going to do when an emergency crops up in January or Feb or March? You are partly going to resent that GPS. The best gifts are not measured in dollars, they are measured with love and thoughtfulness. Getting easy child a gadget he knows good and well you cannot afford is only going to make him feel guilty. That will taint any pleasure he gets. If you get him the controller and a small item that brings back a childhood memory, maybe a Christmas memory - THAT will mean a LOT more to both of you. Get a photo put onto a car mug. Walmart will do it for $10. Then fill it with his favorite candy from when he was a little boy. Put in a note about a memory of him eating the candy, smearing it all over, sharing a bite with you, whatever. THOSE are the things he will remember in 5 years. All he is going to remember about the GPS is that it was neat but you couldn't buy your medicine because you bought it. been there done that on his end. Take the GPS back. Explain to DF, gently, that you don't measure gifts by dollars, but by need and ability. Explain that maybe if she had paid rent you could have gotten teh GPS, but her rent is really part of his gift. Or just that you prefer to give gifts that are more meaningful rather than just expensive. [/QUOTE]
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