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Ugh, laundry got me again!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 155210" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Vickie, </p><p> </p><p>Sorry about your knee, back, ankle and pain. Read the part about you hearing the distinctive snap and nearly puked. BlECH.....(thanks for that) lol </p><p> </p><p>I was wondering - what would be the worst case scenario if you did not see Aly for 6 months or so? I mean it. I don't think you realize it but every time you post about her - it's very negative. And I'm the first one to tell you I could do the same about Dude, for years. lol. But when I got that way - someone suggest we took a paternal time out. Crazy as it sounds I did it for 13 weeks. It bothered me more than it did him. But when we saw each other - it was really good. And then as per usual - it went down hill rapidly, (groan) again. </p><p> </p><p>I even began to wonder if I'm toxic to Dude. I know I'm not -but you start thinking things like WHY CAN'T I STAND my CHILD? And then all the ugly pours out. And it's not really Dude or Aly that we have trouble with, it's their behaviors. I remember the time going by thinking - he'll call, he'll miss me, he'll need me - and NOPE. I needed him - but I needed to get away for a while more. It made me appreciate him in all his disordered splendor. </p><p> </p><p>I even found myself bargaining that if he would JUST rage, or JUST be encopretic or just destroy the house, school, neighbors stuff on a minute to minute basis, or would just curse me and not the teachers, or just be so outrageous, or just one thing and not 12 - I could cope. But when you have a child like Dude wtih multiple diagnosis and you deal with the stress of that kids behaviors, the strain on a relationship, day to day stuff, personal stuff....and by the time you get around to Aly - you have nothing left to give, but COULD muster up something, some niceity, some kind word, or understanding thought but they come at us like bees out of a disturbed hive. CONSTANTLY. And it wears us down. So maybe a real Mom and Aly break is due?</p><p> </p><p>I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, it isn't my intention to be judgemental about your relationship with your Aly - I know you love her - there is no doubt for that. But when you don't like someone - maybe it's time for a bigger break than just moving out. Maybe it would do you both some good. Or if not your kid (like mine could have gone eternity without me I think) maybe just recharge your batteries and give you the ability to appreciate missing her. </p><p> </p><p>Thinking outloud is all .........</p><p> </p><p>Hugs & love </p><p>Star</p><p> </p><p>oh and if husband had pushed Aly to say those things about the special olympics - then SHAME on him - you don't need to see him for a while either. Maybe he's finding out it isn't all kittens and roses with a difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 155210, member: 4964"] Vickie, Sorry about your knee, back, ankle and pain. Read the part about you hearing the distinctive snap and nearly puked. BlECH.....(thanks for that) lol I was wondering - what would be the worst case scenario if you did not see Aly for 6 months or so? I mean it. I don't think you realize it but every time you post about her - it's very negative. And I'm the first one to tell you I could do the same about Dude, for years. lol. But when I got that way - someone suggest we took a paternal time out. Crazy as it sounds I did it for 13 weeks. It bothered me more than it did him. But when we saw each other - it was really good. And then as per usual - it went down hill rapidly, (groan) again. I even began to wonder if I'm toxic to Dude. I know I'm not -but you start thinking things like WHY CAN'T I STAND my CHILD? And then all the ugly pours out. And it's not really Dude or Aly that we have trouble with, it's their behaviors. I remember the time going by thinking - he'll call, he'll miss me, he'll need me - and NOPE. I needed him - but I needed to get away for a while more. It made me appreciate him in all his disordered splendor. I even found myself bargaining that if he would JUST rage, or JUST be encopretic or just destroy the house, school, neighbors stuff on a minute to minute basis, or would just curse me and not the teachers, or just be so outrageous, or just one thing and not 12 - I could cope. But when you have a child like Dude wtih multiple diagnosis and you deal with the stress of that kids behaviors, the strain on a relationship, day to day stuff, personal stuff....and by the time you get around to Aly - you have nothing left to give, but COULD muster up something, some niceity, some kind word, or understanding thought but they come at us like bees out of a disturbed hive. CONSTANTLY. And it wears us down. So maybe a real Mom and Aly break is due? I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, it isn't my intention to be judgemental about your relationship with your Aly - I know you love her - there is no doubt for that. But when you don't like someone - maybe it's time for a bigger break than just moving out. Maybe it would do you both some good. Or if not your kid (like mine could have gone eternity without me I think) maybe just recharge your batteries and give you the ability to appreciate missing her. Thinking outloud is all ......... Hugs & love Star oh and if husband had pushed Aly to say those things about the special olympics - then SHAME on him - you don't need to see him for a while either. Maybe he's finding out it isn't all kittens and roses with a difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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