Ugh. Why do others think they can do better???

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by katattak, Aug 1, 2011.

  1. katattak

    katattak New Member

    I have had so many people tell me how difficult child its not that bad. Yes, it could always be worse. When I explain that there are a lot of situations that they do not know about, and I don't want to relive. But when it comes to close family and friends, that is when it really upsets me...
    An outsider has the audacity to say 'He wouldn't do that here' or 'He wouldn't do that to me'.
    Yeah he would... He does it to everyone else.

    Then... I got the 'I'll take him for a week, and he'll be fine when he goes home'.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I know the feeling. My family and school sees all the bad stuff but just chalks it up to my fault. I feel for you. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    My parents used to do this, till the day she spray painted her brother in the face and attacked my Dad. No more.

    With bio mom, she would act up and it was all husband's fault, but when she acted up here, "she never does that with me"... Umm...?!

    And she's still honeymooning with the foster mom. LOL... Not.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I hear you! Just last night, I was telling husband that I don't think I could handle anymore my mother pointing out everything that is sweet in difficult child like in a failed attempt to prove me everything is fine.
    Yes, it could be worse (at some level, things can ALWAYS get worse), but PLEASE stop with the "rosy" picture.
    It gets on my nerves, like it's not hard enough as it is.
    Really have no tip for you though... I'm learning myself how to detach from those ignorant comments.
  5. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I get the same thing all the time! It drives me crazy! People have NO idea what we go through with our difficult child. His old clinician was the worst. She was just like boys will be boys. Really??? Then YOU take him home!

    Anyway, hang in there! You're doing the best you can and you're NOT alone!
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Tempting to let 'em try it until the honeymoon is over, isn't it?
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    in my opinion, a week isn't enough - O has been with foster 5 weeks and foster is just now getting it. And only because of the fact that she tried to talk husband out of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - O just is so sweet, doesn't act rude or anything... Umm.
  8. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    lol. BFF was a broken record on the subject...until i sent difficult child 2 to vacation with her....

    neither BFF or difficult child 2 made it more than 24 hours...and i have not once heard some "if you'd just" comment since.

    so i say, those that think they can do better, well, take them up on the offer.
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) Yeah. Finally my sisters know better. They won't even take my kids for one day, BUT that doesn't stop them from offering useless advice. Mostly just one sister not who gets upset because I 'don't listen to her' by not heeding her 'glorious' pearls of wisdom. What she doesn't hear is that I've been there done that.

    KTLC, your mom sounds like my Aunt. The woman kept saying what a 'lovely girl' DD1 is. I left her speechless by agreeing with her. Somehow she doesn't see that the good can reside with the bad and the ugly.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'd have taken them up on that SO FAST it would have left their heads spinning! (and no time for them to change their minds...LOL!)
  11. katattak

    katattak New Member

    I hate that any one has to go through anything like this, but I am glad that I have found this group and that others are experiencing the same things. It sure gives me strength to know I am not alone!

    Thank you All.

    Whenever I meet sometimes child now, I will compliment to their parents how they behave and say 'I sure hope they are like that with their siblings and family'. (Because I know how manipulative some kids can be)
  12. Penguin

    Penguin New Member

    Ooo ooo I can so relate !!! My mother in law used to say all the time - give difficult child to me for the week and I will sort him out. Well we did and she called husband on day 2 to pick difficult child up. She has never looked after him since. But here is the irony - she still gives me advice about difficult child like sending him to his room etc?? Far out, like I have never thought of that or 50 other measures. Sigh. Just had to share.