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uh oh ... heading into a crisis
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<blockquote data-quote="ck1" data-source="post: 112411" data-attributes="member: 3767"><p>Have you considered coming into it from a different angle? Not that this is a punishment but that a change needs to take place! I would agree with the behavior contract so that she's clear on the rules and consequences, as your own children are I'm sure. I don't think I would take away her phone and computer privileges right away. If she starts at a new school and makes some friends, she won't be able to talk with them.</p><p></p><p>You and husband must be on the same page but also, husband has to show that he will no longer tolerate her cr*p. It may work better if you are the "good guy" and he's the disciplinarian. She'll take it better from him and would probably only fight against you then resent you. He could very firmly say he's sorry for putting up with it and allowing her to manipulate him in the past but that will no longer happen. Sounds like husband is the one who really needs to take a deep breath and step up on this. If he's not ready, I wouldn't move her. Why bother? He really needs to know that he's not doing her any favors by not following through on consequences. </p><p></p><p>Give her a chance to do well, even if it's a honeymoon period, encourage the good behavior and positive attitude. Maybe that's what she's craving, some positive attention? Counseling is a must with what she's been through. I would tell her that it's for her to have someone else to talk with. Make it part of the contract. I would say that you're taking steps to improve her life. She's obviously not happy with the way it's going now so changes are in order! </p><p></p><p>Regarding the suicide threats...yup yup yup. If she says it to manipulate, or she means it, I'd call the police and have her evaluated/committed. My son said it once (psychiatrist said it was his way to "up the ante to get his way") he spent nine days in the psychiatric hospital and believe me he has never said it since.</p><p></p><p>If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ck1, post: 112411, member: 3767"] Have you considered coming into it from a different angle? Not that this is a punishment but that a change needs to take place! I would agree with the behavior contract so that she's clear on the rules and consequences, as your own children are I'm sure. I don't think I would take away her phone and computer privileges right away. If she starts at a new school and makes some friends, she won't be able to talk with them. You and husband must be on the same page but also, husband has to show that he will no longer tolerate her cr*p. It may work better if you are the "good guy" and he's the disciplinarian. She'll take it better from him and would probably only fight against you then resent you. He could very firmly say he's sorry for putting up with it and allowing her to manipulate him in the past but that will no longer happen. Sounds like husband is the one who really needs to take a deep breath and step up on this. If he's not ready, I wouldn't move her. Why bother? He really needs to know that he's not doing her any favors by not following through on consequences. Give her a chance to do well, even if it's a honeymoon period, encourage the good behavior and positive attitude. Maybe that's what she's craving, some positive attention? Counseling is a must with what she's been through. I would tell her that it's for her to have someone else to talk with. Make it part of the contract. I would say that you're taking steps to improve her life. She's obviously not happy with the way it's going now so changes are in order! Regarding the suicide threats...yup yup yup. If she says it to manipulate, or she means it, I'd call the police and have her evaluated/committed. My son said it once (psychiatrist said it was his way to "up the ante to get his way") he spent nine days in the psychiatric hospital and believe me he has never said it since. If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got... [/QUOTE]
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