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Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 258381" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Baking a cake for your daughter was the right thing to do. It made both of you feel good. The next time your son tries to dump his problems in your lap, bake some cookies for her or a neighbor. Take your other son to a movie. Do something constructive for someone else. Nothing you do for your difficult child will ever make a difference. Ever. He's a grown up and he may dump his problems on you and blame you for them, but they are <em>his</em> problems. If you do something for someone else instead of falling into his B S trap, something good comes out of it, and you have a fond memory to recall from his idiocy.</p><p></p><p>As for his ruining his name in another town? That's exactly what he ruined - his name. M ruined his name in our community, and I didn't slink away. I stayed and continued to do the volunteer work and be involved as I always was. It was humiliating at first, but only in my own mind. There was more than one person whom he had burned who approached me and told me how much class I had for still being myself in spite of what a brat M was being. I still participate in that community, 6 years later. M was 17 at the time and people are smart enough to know he made his own decisions and that they don't reflect on me if I don't own them. Your son is 26 (or is it 27 now?) and people are smart enough to know that his problems are his, unless you try to own them by trying to fix them or make excuses.</p><p></p><p>Set yourself free, Susan. Don't own his problems, and they won't be yours. </p><p></p><p>by the way, he sounds paranoid and delusional. If he shows up at your home, I hope you <em>will</em> call the police.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 258381, member: 99"] Baking a cake for your daughter was the right thing to do. It made both of you feel good. The next time your son tries to dump his problems in your lap, bake some cookies for her or a neighbor. Take your other son to a movie. Do something constructive for someone else. Nothing you do for your difficult child will ever make a difference. Ever. He's a grown up and he may dump his problems on you and blame you for them, but they are [I]his[/I] problems. If you do something for someone else instead of falling into his B S trap, something good comes out of it, and you have a fond memory to recall from his idiocy. As for his ruining his name in another town? That's exactly what he ruined - his name. M ruined his name in our community, and I didn't slink away. I stayed and continued to do the volunteer work and be involved as I always was. It was humiliating at first, but only in my own mind. There was more than one person whom he had burned who approached me and told me how much class I had for still being myself in spite of what a brat M was being. I still participate in that community, 6 years later. M was 17 at the time and people are smart enough to know he made his own decisions and that they don't reflect on me if I don't own them. Your son is 26 (or is it 27 now?) and people are smart enough to know that his problems are his, unless you try to own them by trying to fix them or make excuses. Set yourself free, Susan. Don't own his problems, and they won't be yours. by the way, he sounds paranoid and delusional. If he shows up at your home, I hope you [I]will[/I] call the police. [/QUOTE]
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