Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Unbelievable
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 386409" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think that you need to stop answering the phone 30 min before you need to leave for a meeting. period. If it really matters they will leave a message. NOTHING that goes on with your daughter is so urgent that it cannot wait a couple of hours. She has people there who can give consent for medical care. You cannot deal with the police and strangers who have opinions on your daughter will still have them after your meeting. If it is about the family who live in your home, take the call. You can always call them back after your meeting.</p><p> </p><p>The meetings should be given the same priority that church and/or a doctor appointment would happen. At least for a while. Because the meetings are both - they will help you learn to heal your spirit AND your body. Learning how to live via the tenets of alanon/narcanon/AA will do as much for your physical health as many doctor visits. If you can put them into that place, maybe even see them as a doctor appointment for your younger children because you will be learning how to break the cycle of addiction in your family and this will greatly aid your other childrens health in every way. It wasn't until I put meetings into this type of priority that I stopped missing them for various reasons. So maybe it will help you</p><p> </p><p>Bringing her back to your state is a wonderful way to hurt your daughter. Maybe if you can explain this to your husband it will help HIM to not give in to her. Has he seen the drug house with his own two eyes, or did you pull her out of there yourself? Take him there and let him SEE what she was doing. It lacks reality if you don't see it, in my opinion. I think your husband may hear "drug addict" and "strung out" but he doesn't really grasp in on a meaningful level. I am not sure it is really possible to grasp what goes on in drug houses, or that your child/bro/parent/etc... is actually living that way. in my opinion if he can SEE the place, esp inside it, he may be far more supportive of you and of what she truly NEEDS.</p><p> </p><p>I think the fight with gma was engineered to get her thrown out so that you would "HAVE TO" bring her back to your state. If you bring her back you will be teaching her that if she doesn't like something she can have a tantrum and get out of it. Just like when she was a toddler and wanted you to carry her instead of walking. She (any child) would sit down and wail to get you to carry her. The more you gave in the less she walked or crawled on her own. </p><p> </p><p>You cannot force her to be sober, or go to treatment, or do much of anything. You CAN make her deal with her own choices by not rescuing her. It is the best thing you can do, in my opinion. Esp as sure as you sound that if you bring her home she will go back to the drug using strung out call mom when she gets hungry life. She doesn't need to be in Georgia to find that life - so why waste the money/effort/emotional payment to let her do that close to you??</p><p> </p><p>Sooner or later the strangers will stop helping, stop buying her act. Esp if you keep being up front with them. You don't really HAVE to talk with these people. Not if it upsets you or brings too much drama to your life. They will wise up to her eventually. </p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry that you have to endure this. PLEASE find meetings that work with your schedule. Make them a priority. 7 in 7 and 30 in 30 are great goals. They will let you know when/where support is every day, and will let you take enough time with each group to figure out which ones work best for you. </p><p> </p><p>Many many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 386409, member: 1233"] I think that you need to stop answering the phone 30 min before you need to leave for a meeting. period. If it really matters they will leave a message. NOTHING that goes on with your daughter is so urgent that it cannot wait a couple of hours. She has people there who can give consent for medical care. You cannot deal with the police and strangers who have opinions on your daughter will still have them after your meeting. If it is about the family who live in your home, take the call. You can always call them back after your meeting. The meetings should be given the same priority that church and/or a doctor appointment would happen. At least for a while. Because the meetings are both - they will help you learn to heal your spirit AND your body. Learning how to live via the tenets of alanon/narcanon/AA will do as much for your physical health as many doctor visits. If you can put them into that place, maybe even see them as a doctor appointment for your younger children because you will be learning how to break the cycle of addiction in your family and this will greatly aid your other childrens health in every way. It wasn't until I put meetings into this type of priority that I stopped missing them for various reasons. So maybe it will help you Bringing her back to your state is a wonderful way to hurt your daughter. Maybe if you can explain this to your husband it will help HIM to not give in to her. Has he seen the drug house with his own two eyes, or did you pull her out of there yourself? Take him there and let him SEE what she was doing. It lacks reality if you don't see it, in my opinion. I think your husband may hear "drug addict" and "strung out" but he doesn't really grasp in on a meaningful level. I am not sure it is really possible to grasp what goes on in drug houses, or that your child/bro/parent/etc... is actually living that way. in my opinion if he can SEE the place, esp inside it, he may be far more supportive of you and of what she truly NEEDS. I think the fight with gma was engineered to get her thrown out so that you would "HAVE TO" bring her back to your state. If you bring her back you will be teaching her that if she doesn't like something she can have a tantrum and get out of it. Just like when she was a toddler and wanted you to carry her instead of walking. She (any child) would sit down and wail to get you to carry her. The more you gave in the less she walked or crawled on her own. You cannot force her to be sober, or go to treatment, or do much of anything. You CAN make her deal with her own choices by not rescuing her. It is the best thing you can do, in my opinion. Esp as sure as you sound that if you bring her home she will go back to the drug using strung out call mom when she gets hungry life. She doesn't need to be in Georgia to find that life - so why waste the money/effort/emotional payment to let her do that close to you?? Sooner or later the strangers will stop helping, stop buying her act. Esp if you keep being up front with them. You don't really HAVE to talk with these people. Not if it upsets you or brings too much drama to your life. They will wise up to her eventually. I am so sorry that you have to endure this. PLEASE find meetings that work with your schedule. Make them a priority. 7 in 7 and 30 in 30 are great goals. They will let you know when/where support is every day, and will let you take enough time with each group to figure out which ones work best for you. Many many hugs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Unbelievable
Top