M
ML
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Manster doesn't really like his friend R much anymore. They have known each other since kindergarten and have done a lot of things together, right now they swim on T/TH. This gets kind of complicated. Manster's dad A has lived with R and her mom and sister for about 8 months now, as a roommate. So manster and R see each other quite a bit.
R is also a difficult child, don't know diagnosis but she has attention problems and anger issues. She even admitted to me last night that she realized something about herself and that when she gets mad she takes it out on someone else. She thought that was a very odd thing about her and I told her that while she did need to work on it, they even have a term for it and I told her about "kicking the cat" after a hard day at work. I have never seen it but apparently R hits manster at times. She is also manipulative and preys on manster's vulnerabilities. She makes comments about his weight, tells him that if he's friends with someone's she is mad at that he can't be her friend anymore. That used to bug him but now he simply befriends this person even more. The dynamics there are unhealthy lol.
For a long time I was grateful because difficult child had a friend who put up with his quirks but I've come to realize that he doesn't want to put up with hers.
Ok this brings me to last night. Many times I am the one who takes the kids swimming because R's mom works late. I also make sure they shower and often bring R home till her mom can pick her up. Last night her mom was there "T" but asked if it was ok for R to come over for a while so she and her other daughter could go shopping. You could see manster's facial expressions indicate displeasure and T said "well I could take her with us" and manster nodded and said "yes, take her with you". Well T looked shocked. I took manster to the other room and asked him to be gracious and bribed him into it. The things is R ALWAYS wants to come over and hang with manster and he almost never wants her to. He even told his dad "the only one that doesn't know I don't like R is R". I tried to explain to T that manster has had a full day by 7:00 and it's his limit for being social. He's an only child and needs his down time. I think she understood.
I have to figure out a way to minimize R and mansters time together. He does like swimming with her so that's good. But I have to let T know that I just can't take her afterwards without hurting anyone's feelings.
Thanks for reading
R is also a difficult child, don't know diagnosis but she has attention problems and anger issues. She even admitted to me last night that she realized something about herself and that when she gets mad she takes it out on someone else. She thought that was a very odd thing about her and I told her that while she did need to work on it, they even have a term for it and I told her about "kicking the cat" after a hard day at work. I have never seen it but apparently R hits manster at times. She is also manipulative and preys on manster's vulnerabilities. She makes comments about his weight, tells him that if he's friends with someone's she is mad at that he can't be her friend anymore. That used to bug him but now he simply befriends this person even more. The dynamics there are unhealthy lol.
For a long time I was grateful because difficult child had a friend who put up with his quirks but I've come to realize that he doesn't want to put up with hers.
Ok this brings me to last night. Many times I am the one who takes the kids swimming because R's mom works late. I also make sure they shower and often bring R home till her mom can pick her up. Last night her mom was there "T" but asked if it was ok for R to come over for a while so she and her other daughter could go shopping. You could see manster's facial expressions indicate displeasure and T said "well I could take her with us" and manster nodded and said "yes, take her with you". Well T looked shocked. I took manster to the other room and asked him to be gracious and bribed him into it. The things is R ALWAYS wants to come over and hang with manster and he almost never wants her to. He even told his dad "the only one that doesn't know I don't like R is R". I tried to explain to T that manster has had a full day by 7:00 and it's his limit for being social. He's an only child and needs his down time. I think she understood.
I have to figure out a way to minimize R and mansters time together. He does like swimming with her so that's good. But I have to let T know that I just can't take her afterwards without hurting anyone's feelings.
Thanks for reading