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General Parenting
uncomfortable talk and scary actions
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<blockquote data-quote="Ktllc" data-source="post: 450088" data-attributes="member: 11847"><p>I don't know your story, but if I were you I would not panic. Don't dismiss it and proceed talking with the therapist, but don't draw conclusion. I have/had a similar problem with difficult child (a lot younger though) and I did talk his therapist about. She was actually not all that alarmed and said we need to talk (keep talking) aboout privacy and get some books on the subjects. She saw it as intense curiosity. At 11, your difficult child might indeed not know what sex is and really wonder and wants to know so he would copy the little that he knows about it. That would be my guess. In today's world, it's hard to be completly sheltered from sex what is around sex, but a thorough explanation is needed for some kids.</p><p>One of the books I bought is also good for older kids ("it's not the storke"), and it might help you have a conversation with ALL your children. </p><p>I would talk about privacy in both way: you don't expose yourself (I had to explain to difficult child the consequences: police would come, at 4 years old I had to keep it simple), you don't explore someone else's privates and NOBODY is allowed to see or touch your privates (except parents and doctors). </p><p>As far as the doll, you maybe want to reconsider: play is healthy and taking skirts off not unsual. Maybe explain to him he cannot play with his doll in that way when his sibling are around. Once again it is private. </p><p>Since are NUMEROUS talks, the books and the fact that I bought difficult child his own girl doll (barbie in a bathing suit), I have to say he has been a lot less intense about the topic. It has almost deappeared, and in any instence is not an issue anymore.</p><p>At one point, I was quite worried! (some bad stuff had happened at a daycare he attended and had to pull him out). So, don't dismiss it nothing but don't imagine the worst right away.</p><p>Keep us posted and good luck with a difficult subject.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ktllc, post: 450088, member: 11847"] I don't know your story, but if I were you I would not panic. Don't dismiss it and proceed talking with the therapist, but don't draw conclusion. I have/had a similar problem with difficult child (a lot younger though) and I did talk his therapist about. She was actually not all that alarmed and said we need to talk (keep talking) aboout privacy and get some books on the subjects. She saw it as intense curiosity. At 11, your difficult child might indeed not know what sex is and really wonder and wants to know so he would copy the little that he knows about it. That would be my guess. In today's world, it's hard to be completly sheltered from sex what is around sex, but a thorough explanation is needed for some kids. One of the books I bought is also good for older kids ("it's not the storke"), and it might help you have a conversation with ALL your children. I would talk about privacy in both way: you don't expose yourself (I had to explain to difficult child the consequences: police would come, at 4 years old I had to keep it simple), you don't explore someone else's privates and NOBODY is allowed to see or touch your privates (except parents and doctors). As far as the doll, you maybe want to reconsider: play is healthy and taking skirts off not unsual. Maybe explain to him he cannot play with his doll in that way when his sibling are around. Once again it is private. Since are NUMEROUS talks, the books and the fact that I bought difficult child his own girl doll (barbie in a bathing suit), I have to say he has been a lot less intense about the topic. It has almost deappeared, and in any instence is not an issue anymore. At one point, I was quite worried! (some bad stuff had happened at a daycare he attended and had to pull him out). So, don't dismiss it nothing but don't imagine the worst right away. Keep us posted and good luck with a difficult subject. [/QUOTE]
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